IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

50/ Nowadays in many countries young people leave rural areas to study or work in cities. What are the reasons for this? Do the benefits of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #areas #study #work #cities #outweigh
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There is no doubt the number of young people who migrate from rural
areas
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 to urban
areas
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 has increased tremendously in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent years.
While
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 some think the disadvantages of
this
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 phenomenon outweigh the merits, I agree with those who argue that the merits outweigh the demerits in many ways. In terms of the reasons, the most significant reason to leave the countryside and move to
cities
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 is that most of the universities are located in the
cities
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 and these universities attract
the
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apply
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ambitious students who want to complete their education and earn higher
degree
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degrees
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.
Moreover
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, the second reason is that there are a lot of jobs in
cities
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, which is much easier
to
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for
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 professionals to find a job compared with the rural regions.
However
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, some people believe there are some disadvantages
of
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to
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 leaving the countryside.
Firstly
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, the most substantial drawback is that it may increase the
cities
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’ population.
Thus
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, the
cities
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 may face many difficulties
to find
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in finding
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to
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apply
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them
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residence
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residents
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.
Secondly
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,
this
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 migration leaves the rural
areas
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 abandoned, which may make farmers leave their farms.
Nevertheless
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, one of the most significant benefits of moving to
cities
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 is that it will give pupils the chance of completing their education. The result of
this
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 is that it will climb the numbers of
the
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apply
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university graduates. In conclusion, most of the humans in rural
areas
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 tend to move to urban
areas
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 for some reasons related to their education and their
career
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careers
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.
Therefore
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,
although
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 there are some negative aspects of
this
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 phenomenon, I wholeheartedly believe that the advantages of
this
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 statement outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by ra18d.ai on

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task achievement
Provide more reasons and examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay more effectively by using clear topic sentences and paragraph development.
lexical resource
Use a variety of vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • rural exodus
  • job market
  • academic institutions
  • cultural diversity
  • infrastructure
  • metropolitan
  • traditional values
  • overpopulation
  • innovation
  • networking opportunities
  • telecommuting
  • quality of life
  • economic disparity
  • environmental degradation
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