Despite the benefits for health, fewer people today than ever before exercise by walking. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more walking?

#health #people #exercise

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These days,

while

Linking Words

there are some advantages of engaging in exercises including walking, jogging or running, the number of

people

Use synonyms

who do these activities

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

decreasing. In

this

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essay,

i'll

Change the capitalization

I'll

show examples

shed light on the causes of

this

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situation and

also

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propose some solutions for

this

Linking Words

problem. First of all, there are two main reasons why

people

Use synonyms

are tending

Wrong verb form

tend

show examples

not to take part in

such

Linking Words

activities as walking or jogging. One of

causes

Add an article

the causes

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can be laziness which

is motivating

Wrong verb form

motivates

show examples

people

Use synonyms

to be addicted to

spend

Change the verb form

spending

show examples

much time at home.

Such

Linking Words

a sedentary lifestyle is contributing to obesity among individuals.

Secondly

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, a multitude number of cars are being produced significantly.

Due to

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

development, folks are more likely to commute to

workplace

Correct article usage

the workplace

show examples

, university or schools with the help of cars.

According to

Linking Words

these arguments, humans prefer being at home or using

from

Change preposition

apply

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cars rather than

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

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walking.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, with regard to

tackle

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tackling

show examples

the issues,

government

Add an article

the government

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should implement

such

Linking Words

measures as instituting gifts or sporting events. By announcing awards, authority can arouse citizen's interests in terms of stepping.In order to generate enthusiasm regarding

increase

Correct article usage

the increase

show examples

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

rate of steps, sporting

occurrence

Fix the agreement mistake

occurrences

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should be organized.

This

Linking Words

is because, if folks are aware of the occasion, they reinforce a tendency by the time it happens. From

this

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perspective,

people

Use synonyms

may learn

benefits

Correct article usage

the benefits

show examples

of exercises

Correct quantifier usage

such as

show examples

walking. In conclusion, doing these activities is one of the most important ways of maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

This

Linking Words

essay revealed secrets

why

Change preposition

of why

show examples

people

Use synonyms

do not walk a lot and addressed two keys for handling

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Sat Oct 14 2023

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task achievement

Make sure to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical structure of your essay to make it more organized.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and try to avoid repetitive language.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity and accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Despite the benefits for health, fewer people today than ever before exercise by walking. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more walking?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunities to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this developments?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?