Despite the benefits for health, fewer people today than ever before exercise by walking. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more walking?

#health #people #exercise

These days,

while

there are some advantages of engaging in exercises including walking, jogging or running, the number of

people

who do these activities

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

decreasing. In

this

essay,

i'll

Change the capitalization

I'll

show examples

shed light on the causes of

this

situation and

also

propose some solutions for

this

problem. First of all, there are two main reasons why

people

are tending

Wrong verb form

tend

show examples

not to take part in

such

activities as walking or jogging. One of

causes

Add an article

the causes

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can be laziness which

is motivating

Wrong verb form

motivates

show examples

people

to be addicted to

spend

Change the verb form

spending

show examples

much time at home.

Such

a sedentary lifestyle is contributing to obesity among individuals.

Secondly

, a multitude number of cars are being produced significantly.

Due to

this

development, folks are more likely to commute to

workplace

Correct article usage

the workplace

show examples

, university or schools with the help of cars.

According to

these arguments, humans prefer being at home or using

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

cars rather than

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

walking.

On the other hand

, with regard to

tackle

Change the verb form

tackling

show examples

the issues,

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

should implement

such

measures as instituting gifts or sporting events. By announcing awards, authority can arouse citizen's interests in terms of stepping.In order to generate enthusiasm regarding

increase

Correct article usage

the increase

show examples

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

rate of steps, sporting

occurrence

Fix the agreement mistake

occurrences

show examples

should be organized.

This

is because, if folks are aware of the occasion, they reinforce a tendency by the time it happens. From

this

perspective,

people

may learn

benefits

Correct article usage

the benefits

show examples

of exercises

Correct quantifier usage

such as

show examples

walking. In conclusion, doing these activities is one of the most important ways of maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

This

essay revealed secrets

why

Change preposition

of why

show examples

people

do not walk a lot and addressed two keys for handling

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Sat Oct 14 2023

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task achievement

Make sure to provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical structure of your essay to make it more organized.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary and try to avoid repetitive language.

grammatical range accuracy

Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity and accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Despite the benefits for health, fewer people today than ever before exercise by walking. Why is this? What can be done to encourage more walking?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world costs numerous government's expenditure. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Childcare training courses should be mandatory for all parents. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.

These days many people prefer to work longer hours and spend less time at home. Are there more advantages than disadvantages to this trend?

More and more people are relying on their private cars as a major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its popularity have on individuals and society?