Fatherhood ought to be emphasized as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads to idea that they are responsible for bringing up the children. Disagree or agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is quite difficult for a
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

women
Fix the agreement mistake
woman

It seems that women may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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facing the physical pain
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

physiological changes that pregnancy brings for the period of nine months.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tend to sacrifice their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers

It seems that career may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
miss
Correct word choice
and miss

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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certain events and occasions to
smoothly
Rephrase
apply

There may be an adverb issue here.

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give
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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birth to their
baby
Fix the agreement mistake
babies

It seems that baby may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. I completely disagree with the opinion that as
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject women. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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taking up the decision to have babies or not
so
Rephrase
apply

There may be an adverb issue here.

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women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are only responsible for nurturing their
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

tend to have
aspiration
Fix the agreement mistake
aspirations

It seems that aspiration may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to grow and succeed in their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers

It seems that career may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
As in
Change preposition
In

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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today’s modern world men and
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are equally responsible for the
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

children
Change noun form
children's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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birth and their better nurturing as
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

tend to do a
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time

It appears that full time is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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job
along with
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

focusing on house chores. So men should be responsible for the
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

bringing up. In
western
Capitalize word
Western

The word western should be capitalized in this context.

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countries where there are working parents
so
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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Father and Mother alternatively
takes
Change the verb form
take

It appears that the singular verb takes does not agree with the plural compound subject Father and Mother. Consider changing the verb to the plural form.

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off from their work so that none of their
career
Change to a plural noun
careers

The singular countable noun career follows the quantifier none of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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gets disturbed.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it is important for a father to take care of their child.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a female has
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

personal
Correct article usage
a personal

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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life to work on.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, female
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

thinks
to go
Change preposition
about going

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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for
physical
Add an article
a physical

The noun phrase physical workout seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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workout or else spend some time with
her
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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family or friends.
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays

The compound Now a days appears to be incorrect. Consider changing it to the closed compound nowadays.

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females are breaking the old traditional thought of staying at home, cooking and
look
Wrong verb form
looking

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb look. Consider changing it.

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after their kids.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, these days both parents decide mutually on their preferences and activities so that none gets affected by each other.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, men
tends
Change the verb form
tend

The singular verb tends does not appear to agree with the plural subject men. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
to look after the kid at home when
her
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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mother goes out
for
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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shopping. In conclusion, both parents are important for the upbringing of the
children
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because
women
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Change the verb form
have
show examples
has
Add the particle
has to

It appears that the verb look should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

show examples
look
Change preposition
at her
show examples
her
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
professional
as well as
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

personal life.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Equal Parenting
  • 2. Gender Roles
  • 3. Societal Expectations
  • 4. Emotional Well-being
  • 5. Psychological Development
  • 6. Legal Frameworks
  • 7. Workplace Policies
  • 8. Gender Equality
  • 9. Traditional Responsibilities
  • 10. Active Fatherhood
  • 11. Balanced Development
  • 12. Undue Burden
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