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Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram shows the process for labeling shellfish for the international market. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The diagram shows the process for labeling shellfish for the international market. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.
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The diagram demonstrates the procedure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
labeling
Change the spelling
labelling
show examples
 shellfish for the worldwide market.
This
Linking Words
 process requires five steps to
finally
Linking Words
 send the shellfish to the consumers. Those steps are fishing, monitoring,
labeling
Change the spelling
labelling
show examples
, processing and shipping.
Initially
Linking Words
, every boat is installed with the GPS,
therefore
Linking Words
 the satellite can capture the location data.
This
Linking Words
 satellite is very essential for the monitoring process. After that, the fisherman
do
Change the verb form
does
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 the fishing normally and they are automatically monitored
from
Change preposition
by
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 the data which is sent through the satellite. Monitoring activity happens in Santiago.
Next,
Linking Words
after the catch, each is
labeled
Change the spelling
labelled
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 by a generated barcode.
This
Linking Words
 barcode is very important to certify the shellfish. After that, all the catches go to the processing plant. The processing activity starts from cleaning and preparing the goods to be ready .
Finally
Linking Words
, the packages are shipped to all locals
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 land transportation and international consumers
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
plane. The international market includes Asia, Africa, and South America.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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