In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some countries,
children
are taught that they have to try hard if they want to achieve their goals. In my opinion, Use synonyms
this
statement can encourage Linking Words
children
to overcome difficulties rather than give up and build them to be a resilient person. Use synonyms
As a result
, these characters can contribute to their Linking Words
success
in the future. Use synonyms
However
, at the same time, it Linking Words
also
can contribute to the mental illness of the Linking Words
children
Use synonyms
such
as frustration, anxiety, and self-blame.
Linking Words
To begin
with, being a successful person can be attributed Linking Words
by
our hard Change preposition
to
work
. Encouraging Use synonyms
children
to stay persistent when facing challenges can Use synonyms
make
them overcome difficulties and find solutions to problems. Verb problem
help
Furthermore
, they can learn from their mistakes and use setbacks as opportunities for growth. Linking Words
Moreover
, Linking Words
teaching
Change preposition
by teaching
children
Use synonyms
by bouncing
back from adversity, they can build resilience and come back stronger. As an example, my sister had experience in making croissants. After several trials, she always failed. Change preposition
to bounce
Nevertheless
, she never gave up and she had learned from her mistake. When she tried again, she could handle the obstacle. Eventually, she succeeded in making a good croissant. She was so happy and she felt proud of her perseverance. Linking Words
Therefore
, by picking themselves up and persevering, they can achieve their goals and experience Linking Words
success
.
Use synonyms
Conversely
, there are Linking Words
also
a number of potential downsides for Linking Words
children
to Use synonyms
this
massage, namely mental illness. If Linking Words
children
are constantly told that they can achieve anything through hard Use synonyms
work
alone, it may lead them to overlook the role that other factors play in Use synonyms
success
, Use synonyms
such
as education, luck, privilege, and society. Linking Words
Additionally
, Linking Words
this
could ultimately result in feelings of frustration, self-blame, and demotivation if they do not achieve the outcomes they desire. To illustrate, I have read an article that said Japanese students had an enormous amount of pressure at a very early age to perform well academically from their parents to achieve a better chance at the shrinking pool of good jobs. Linking Words
Therefore
, most of them experienced several mental illnesses Linking Words
such
as feelings of anxiety and stress.
Linking Words
To sum up
, the message that Linking Words
children
can attain anything through hard Use synonyms
work
has its advantages in terms of building confidence, resilience, and motivation. Use synonyms
Nonetheless
, it is essential to consider the potential drawbacks Linking Words
particularly
in mental illness. I hope that parents and teachers Add the comma(s)
, particularly
would
motivate Wrong verb form
will
children
to Use synonyms
work
hard but Use synonyms
also
take into consideration other factors that are important for their Linking Words
success
.Use synonyms
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content
Consider providing a stronger counterargument to the disadvantages of giving children this message.
tone
Use phrasing that is more formal and academic.
grammar
Ensure that sentence structures are varied.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.