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Writing Samples
Band 6

The main purpose of public libraries is to provide books and they shouldn’t waste their limited resources and space on providing expensive hi-tech media such as computer software, videos and DVDs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#purpose #libraries #books #shouldn’t #waste #resources #space #media #computer #software #videos #dvds
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There is no doubt that these days, we are living in an advanced technology era. some
people
 claim that it is better for public libraries to use technological advancements
such
 as computer software, videos and
DVD
Fix the agreement mistake
DVDs
show examples
 in order to save their limited resources
instead
 of hard copies of books. In
this
 essay , I totally agree with
this
 statement and I will provide reasonable reasons to support my point of view . First of all,technology has numerous benefits that could make
people
's lives easier. it is undeniable that currently, most
people
 have smart devices like laptops and phones, making access to education and entertainment options more accessible. To illustrate, the reader can access any category of books with just a click of a button at any time and place.
In addition
, online public libraries serve a large number of
people
 at the same time with no need for a waiting list
due to
 the limited availability of resources.
Moreover
,digital copies of books
also
 contribute to a rise in cultural awareness in society.
On the contrary
, e-books have
also
 some drawbacks as well.
Firstly
, frequent usage of electronic devices could harm the body human specifically the eyes .Many
people
 today depend on these devices for their daily tasks .
Furthermore
, psychological illnesses like addiction or depression may happen because most majority of
people
 seek perfectionism and that could make them disappointed or have low self-esteem .
to sum up
, I do believe that electronic copies make life easier
due to
accessablity
Correct your spelling
accessibility
 and availability of resources.
However
,some disadvantages of using the electronic version may appear
such
 as eye problems .
Submitted by du.sg16 on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points.
task achievement
Consider addressing counterarguments and providing a balanced view.
grammatical range accuracy
Avoid using informal language and abbreviations; use full words instead (e.g. 'do not' instead of 'don't').

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited resources
  • hi-tech media
  • computer software
  • videos
  • DVDs
  • enhance
  • library experience
  • accessibility
  • diverse media
  • manage effectively
  • balancing resources
  • crucial
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