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Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, although people work hard throughout their lives, they still do not have enough money to live comfortably in their retirement. Identify some causes of this retirement issue and suggest possible solutions.

#countries #people #work #lives #money #retirement
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It is true that retired person, even though they endured many hardships in their work, do not have a good quality of life over an interval of retirement. There are a variety of possible reasons for
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, but steps can definitely be taken to tackle the problem.
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 essay will discuss
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 main causes and
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 will suggest
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 main solutions. Nowadays, retired people are not satisfied with their life conditions.
Two
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 main factors are to blame for
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 situation.
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, the retirement salary is not adequate for the livelihood of life. The cost of living,
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 as food, clothes, and transportation, is high in some countries, and
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 group of people can only afford some of them.
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, an increased portion of retired people need insurance, and some of them are not in an appropriate situation in terms of healthiness.
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, the price of staying in a hospital and everything related to doctors is huge.
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, having insurance is necessary for
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 range of age. Retired living conditions can certainly be improved. The changes must start with the governments, which need to take action to remedy the situation. The part of the government related to retirement salaries should increase the amount of monthly wages for retirees in order to they can live in a more appropriate condition.
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, the government should
insure
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ensure
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 all retirees in order to they can check their medical status without thinking of the money they have to pay. In conclusion,
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 essay discussed
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 main causes and
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 suggested
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 main solutions. So, retirees will continue to face problems
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 as low salaries and not having insurance unless governments and related charges take action to raise their salaries and insure them.
Submitted by z.rajabi on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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