IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people join distance-learning programs (study material, post, TV, Internet) and study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the same benefit as attending colleges or universities does. Do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that
distance
Use synonyms
-learning programmes have become increasingly popular
due to
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 advances in technology. Some people argue that studying at home cannot provide the same benefits as attending colleges or universities.
Although
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 some may agree with
this
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 view, I am opposed to it
due to
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 several reasons, which will be examined in
this
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 essay. One of the most apparent reasons is that
distance
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 learning offers flexibility and accessibility. To illustrate, students can study at their own pace and manage their time
according to
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 personal commitments.
For instance
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, individuals who are working or living in remote areas can access
education
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 without the need to relocate.
In addition
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, online platforms provide a wide range of resources
such
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 as recorded lectures, digital materials, and interactive tools, which can support effective learning.
This
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 demonstrates that
distance
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education
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 can be a practical and inclusive option for many learners. Another point that should not be overlooked is that traditional
education
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also
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 provides unique advantages. To clarify, attending universities allows students to engage in face-to-face interaction, group discussions, and social activities.
For example
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, direct communication with teachers and peers can enhance understanding and develop interpersonal skills.
Furthermore
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, campus environments offer facilities
such
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 as laboratories and libraries that may not be fully available in
distance
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 learning.
Therefore
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,
while
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 online
education
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 is beneficial, it may not completely replace the experience of studying in person. To recapitulate, it is evident that
distance
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 learning provides flexibility and wider access to
education
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,
while
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 traditional institutions offer valuable social and practical experiences.
Therefore
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, I believe that
although
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distance
Use synonyms
 learning may differ from conventional study, it can still provide equally meaningful benefits when used effectively.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
task response
Add one more clear example to show why home study can give the same benefit as school study.
task response
Your second body part talks more about the good side of university, so your agree or disagree view becomes a bit weak.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more care so each idea grows in a more natural way.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body part have one strong main idea and then support only that idea.
coherence and cohesion
Some lines repeat the same point in a new form, so try to move forward with new support.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear intro, two body parts, and a clear end.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are easy to follow and the order is logical.
task response
You answer the question and give your own view.
task response
You use examples like workers and people in far places, and this helps your points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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