IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are both entertaining and ecologically important.

#people #animals #zoos
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The part of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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human community believes that it is unacceptable to keep spices in
zoos
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,and other
part
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parts
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 of
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 suppose that
zoos
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 are vital for financial development and human entertainment .
While
Linking Words
 the development of breeding programs contributes to the preservation of endangered species,I believe that the poor conditions that many
animals
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 held in
captavity
Correct your spelling
captivity
 are kept in make the
extinction
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 of
zoos
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 unacceptable.Here,
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss about contribution of
zoos
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 for wild
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animals
Change the noun form
animal
show examples
 conservation,and the unethical sides of
Use synonyms
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
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capturvity
Correct your spelling
captivity
. On the one hand,
Use synonyms
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
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capturvities
Correct your spelling
captivity
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 significant for animal conservation because some
of
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apply
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animals
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 are going to
extinction
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due to
Linking Words
 human activities
such
Linking Words
 as deforestation and hunting.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
zoos
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 are crucial to secure their lives as safe
shelter
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shelters
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 against the
extinction
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 of endangered species.
For instance
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,white and black
rhino
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rhinos
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 are
the
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apply
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one of the most threatened animal groups
in
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on
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 the planet,and the numerous
zoos
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 around the world contribute to
save
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saving
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 those significant animal
community
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communities
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 by creating safe homes against
the
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apply
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poachers.
On the other hand
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,there is a huge dissatisfaction of some citizens about the way of treatments and caring methods of some
capturvity
Correct your spelling
captivity
 centres.
Moreover
Linking Words
, keeping
animals
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 in cramped
eequarters
Correct your spelling
quarters
 cages is unethical manner against
the
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apply
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human standards which is a violation of
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animals
Change noun form
animals'
animal's
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 rights that inversely
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
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on
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apply
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their breeding patterns and health conditions.
For example
Linking Words
,there were numerous reports and social
researches
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research
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 which
reveal
Wrong verb form
revealed
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 the death of
animals
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 in
zoos
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 around the world
due to
Linking Words
 careless treatment of the zoo authorities and Keepers. In conclusion,
Zoos
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 have maintained undeniable roles
for
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in
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 ensuring the lives of threatened
animals
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 that are in
red
Add an article
the red
a red
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 data list,
although
Linking Words
 the unsuitable living conditions and caring methods
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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in some breeding centres,
that
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apply
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could not
in
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apply
show examples
the acceptable standards.
However
Linking Words
,here I strongly trust,
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Correct word choice
that animals
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animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
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 breeding programs and
zoos
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 are vital for any animal is
in
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apply
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a risk of
extinction
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.
Submitted by donnayanajith on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • captivity
  • natural habitat
  • artificial enclosures
  • genetic diversity
  • animal welfare
  • conservation efforts
  • endangered species
  • biodiversity
  • education platform
  • breeding programs
  • reintroduction
  • psychological suffering
What to do next:
Look at other essays: