IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Pollution is becoming a major environment problem. What are causes and solutions to solve this problem?

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Human beings suffer from a vast range of problems, the most problematic one is
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 pollution. There are several factors contributing to
this
Linking Words
 problem
as well as
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 different solutions to overcome it. I will discuss both sides. Regarding the reasons, I reckon fossil fuels are the primary source of contamination. Living in a modern world, there are a huge number of vehicles
is
Change preposition
on is
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 streets releasing carbon
to
Change preposition
into
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 the air.
For example
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, in China, almost every single individual owns a car which is in use
in
Change preposition
on
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 a daily basis.
As a result
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,
this
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 massive usage of cars provokes
production
Add an article
the production
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 of carbon which not only makes the
environment
Use synonyms
 polluted
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 brings about illness including stroke. When it comes to solutions, as an
Use synonyms
environment conscious
Add a hyphen
environment-conscious
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 person, I highlight the importance of culture with
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
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 to the
environment
Use synonyms
,
every one
Replace the word
everyone
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 should find himself under an obligation to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature.
For instance
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, if all members of a community put their comfort
first,
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they are highly unlikely to acquire a taste to put public transportation
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 practice.
Therefore
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, culture is an internal incentive that motivates the public to level up their responsibility level about the
environment
Use synonyms
;
Linking Words
thereafter
Correct word choice
and thereafter
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, put it first.
As a consequence
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, they will be willing to use public transportation
as well as
Linking Words
 recycling their
wasting
Replace the word
waste
show examples
 and other practical measures. In conclusion, among several contributing factors regarding the problem, the main factor is the massive production of carbon.
Moreover
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, a top-notch action to stop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 pollution is to increase the
community
Change noun form
community's
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 responsibility for their ecosystem.

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coherence cohesion
Provide a more specific thesis statement in the introduction.
task achievement
Expand on the solutions to provide more comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Consider restructuring the conclusion to effectively summarize the main points.
lexico-grammar
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance lexical resource and grammatical range and accuracy.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • pollution
  • environmental problem
  • causes
  • solutions
  • industrial emissions
  • vehicular emissions
  • improper waste disposal
  • deforestation
  • stricter environmental regulations
  • renewable energy sources
  • waste management systems
  • planting
  • trees
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