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Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

The charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.
The charts illustrate the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 of different ages in 2000 in two countries:
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy and
also
Linking Words
 forecast the data for the
year
Use synonyms
 2050.
While
Linking Words
Yemen
Use synonyms
 will see the domination of 0-
14
Add a hyphen
14-year-olds
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 olds in their
population
Use synonyms
 overtaken by 15-
59
Add a hyphen
59-year-olds
show examples
year
Use synonyms
 olds in 2050, the dominant
population
Use synonyms
 in Italy, 15-
59 years olds
Correct your spelling
59-year-olds
, remains the same over the period, albeit at a far lower percentage by 2050. As is presented in the charts, the
children
Use synonyms
 were more than half of the total
population
Use synonyms
 USE SYNONYMS communityculturepeoplepopulacepublicsocietystate It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score. of
Yemen
Use synonyms
 in 2000. Aged
people
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 in
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
 were less than 4% of the total
population
Use synonyms
 in
Yemen
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 from 15 to 59 years old were the remaining 46% of the total
population
Use synonyms
. In summary,
Yemen
Use synonyms
 had more
children
Use synonyms
 and very few old
people
Use synonyms
 in the
year
Use synonyms
 2000. Now the projection shows that in 2050, the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 will decrease to 37%
while
Linking Words
 the number of old
people
Use synonyms
 will increase.
People
Use synonyms
 from the 15 to 59 age group would be the dominating
proportion
Use synonyms
 making up above 57% of the total
people
Use synonyms
 of the country. Meanwhile, In Italy, adults accounted for the highest 61.6% of the total citizens in 2000, followed by the elderly
people
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 percentage which came in second place, 24.1% and toddlers and
children
Use synonyms
 counted only 14.3%. In 2050, it is forecasted that the adult
population
Use synonyms
 will still be the highest
proportion
Use synonyms
, 46.2% and the number of seniors will be about 42.3%, almost twice higher than in 2000.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the percentage of
children
Use synonyms
 will decline to only 11.5%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, people, yemen, year, population, children with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • age demographics
  • age structure
  • population distribution
  • youthful population
  • ageing population
  • life expectancy
  • birth rate
  • demographic shift
  • population projection
  • median age
  • dependents
  • working-age population
  • elderly dependents
  • geriatric
  • fertility rate
  • migration
  • demographic trends
  • baby boomers
  • demographic dividend
  • population pyramid
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