Some people think educated people more valuable than people who learned skills through experience Do you think educated people are more valuable for society? What kind of skill can people learn through experience that can benefit society?

Some
people
believe that academic
individuals
are more beneficial to
society
compared to skilled
people
. I believe
both
educated
individuals
and
people
with practical
skills
are equally important for the community. In the following, we will discuss the most crucial advantages of schooled
people
and
then
spotlight the pivotal practical
skills
that make a tremendous impact on
society
. One of the most substantial roles of educated
people
is nurturing and upbringing the next generations. In fact, academic
people
have the knowledge and the theoretical information they need to raise responsible generations.
Hence
, they are important to sustain and improve the educational process.
Moreover
,they play a significant role in solving many societal problems and environmental challenges because they possess scientific approaches to handling many difficult situations.
Additionally
, enhancing the economy of the country by introducing new innovations and discoveries is
also
a significant impact that academic persons can make. Turning to the discussion of
skills
learned from experience, there are many crucial abilities,
such
as communication
skills
, leadership
skills
, resilience, and perseverance, that are often overlooked in traditional schooling systems.Effective communication abilities can be acquired through exposure to
individuals
from diverse backgrounds and improved through real-life situations.
This
skill contributes to fostering unity and harmony among the population, thereby enhancing productivity within the community. Undoubtedly, leadership abilities cannot be learned in conventional educational programs; they require specific training programs and engagement in real-life experiences.
Consequently
, effective leaders can influence the population to create positive changes and contribute to the development of
society
. Considering the profound impacts of these practical
skills
, we cannot underscore the role of skilled human beings compared to educated
people
.
Hence
,
both
of them play a substantive role in the country.
To conclude
,
both
educated
people
and skilled
people
make significant impacts on
society
. Educated
people
bear the responsibility of nurturing the next generations,solving societal problems, and introducing new innovations. Meanwhile, skilled persons create effective communication channels inside the community and can influence the population towards improving their selves. For these reasons, I strongly believe educated
individuals
are not more important than skilled persons.
Both
of them can position the country in a brighter and more prosperous future.
Submitted by fmalquran112 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports the main argument with relevant examples. Although you made good points, consider adding more specific real-life examples to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strive for seamless transitions between ideas and paragraphs for enhanced cohesion. Your essay shows good logical structure and paragraphing, but consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas more explicitly.
Lexical Resource
Enhance your lexical resource by employing a greater variety of vocabulary and avoiding unnecessary repetition of words and phrases. Using synonyms and more complex vocabulary can elevate your writing.
Grammatical Range
Demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures and sentence varieties to enrich your writing. While your grammar is generally good, consider varying your sentence structures more to showcase your language command.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: