IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent do you agree or disagree? To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

It is commonly argued that wage is the most crucial when choosing a job. Personally, I can neither completely agree nor disagree with
this
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 statement for a variety of reasons. I partly agree since a superior income will support
people
Use synonyms
 to have better conditions in their lives. One of the main reasons can be the monthly payment for rent or mortgage.
This
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 means that
people
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 with high earnings are about to live in large apartments or houses which are in the metropolitan areas. Another reason can be that individuals with high incomes can access high-quality healthcare systems.
For instance
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, my uncle is working as a civil engineer with a yearly salary of around AU$200,000, so he can afford to buy several properties and travel around the world.
Moreover
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, he
also
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 has funds for private healthcare, which is more hospitable and convenient, whenever he gets sick or has an accident.
On the other hand
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, I disagree with the viewpoint because
people
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 with the top salary easily get stressed.
Firstly
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, workers who are earning more money have more responsibilities than those who are getting paid less.
Therefore
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, a large duty can make
people
Use synonyms
 overwhelmed , which can affect their mental issues and well-being.
Secondly
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,
due to
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 a huge number of assignments, they do not have time to spare for themselves and their families, which can lead to exhaustion in the long run.
For instance
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, my friend is a doctor working in the emergency department, so she is often doing night duties at the hospital. She mentioned that it is
such
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 a stressful job, and she is usually not herself after working overtime for weeks.
Although
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 she got paid a large amount of money, she decided to quit and move to rural areas to work and enjoy her life. In conclusion, it is widely thought that good wages are the most considerable when looking for a job.
However
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, from my personal perspective, I am inclined to believe that the work environment is more vital than salary.

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structure
Plan your essay first. In the intro, say your view. In the body, have two parts that show both sides. End with your own view.
coherence
Use simple link words to join ideas. Words like but, also, however, and for example help the flow.
coherence
Give clear reasons for each idea. Tie each idea back to the main point.
grammar
Check grammar and word choice. Use plain form like able to, health, stress, and rural to show meaning.
content
Use one or two good examples. A personal example plus a general one helps.
content
Balanced view is shown with both sides.
structure
Clear intro, body, and conclusion are used.
language use
Attempts to use contrast and linking words to join ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consideration
  • sole factor
  • financial stability
  • security
  • motivating factor
  • dissatisfaction
  • demotivation
  • job satisfaction
  • overall well-being
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • flexible working hours
  • vacations
  • career growth opportunities
  • skill development
  • advancement
  • determining factor
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