34.Many museums charge for admission while other are free. Do you think that advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is said that in some
museums
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,
people
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need to pay for the ticket
while
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others are free.
This
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essay would argue that despite it will limit access, it is far more advantageous to ask for
money
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for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entry to
museums
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because it will improve individuals’ experience. Charging
price
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prices
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in
museums
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will restrict
entrace
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entry
to culture and knowledge for
people
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from low- income.
This
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is because
museums
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are a valuable educational resource that
allow
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allows
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people
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to learn about
history
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the history
show examples
of their ancestors, but if individuals are asked to pay, some do not have the financial ability to use the
money
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in
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for
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these activities, and others are not willing to pay because they think that they should use the
money
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in other more important things,
such
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as for their house, food and family.
For example
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, Spain
have
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has
show examples
many charged
museums
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and others that are free, recent research concluded that no charged
museums
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have around 65% more visitors.
However
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, I believe that the prices of tickets are not expensive and there are many
reduced price
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reduced-price
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tickets and promotions, so
this
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is not a significant drawback. The great advantage of paying for the entrance is that
museums
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will have more funds to provide additional resources and facilities to
people
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who visit the
museum
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. Since the
money
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that they gain can be used to add new products,
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and improving
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improving
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improve
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services and educational programmes.
As a
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consequence
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consequence,
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visitors receive a higher quality experience, so they enjoy more and are more interested in learning new things.
For instance
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, the
museum
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Nacional Art Center Reina Sofia charges a fee of around 15€ per person, but there
is
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are
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always a lot of
people
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waiting,
this
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is because the
museum
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have
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has
show examples
experts that will explain
with
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in
show examples
detail all products and every week or month they bring new products so visitors can appreciate.
Therefore
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, I would argue that
benefits
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the benefits
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of paying for the
entrace
Correct your spelling
entrance
in
museums
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are more significant than the drawbacks. In conclusion,
although
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some
people
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cannot afford the ticket price,
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museum
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the museum
show examples
will upgrade all their elements so individuals can have a better experience, for these reasons, the positives far outnumber the negatives.
Submitted by elenazheng1211 on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction. State your position directly.
coherence cohesion
Use more transition words and phrases to improve coherence between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Expand on the drawbacks of charging people for admission to museums.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Rephrase or remove repetitive phrases, such as 'museums' and 'entrance'.
grammatical range accuracy
Proofread your essay for grammatical errors.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
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