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Band 6.5

Some people think it is important to spend time in developing a successful career while others think it is more importany to spend time with family and friends. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #time #career #importany #friends
Across the globe, giving
time
 to family and
career
 both are important in the present day.
However
, one segment of people think that it is a myriad crucial to develop one's
career
 first and another segment of people believes that social
life
 is ample for survival. For me, both aspects are essential for surviving in the society. On the one hand, a
career
 plays an essential role in today's world.
Firstly
, it is important to have good earnings which give a happy
life
 to their family and
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their need .
For example
, if a person has a handful of money
then
 he or she can live a luxurious lifestyle and
moreover
, he can give his family what they need without any second thought, so it is only possible if he looks after his
career
 and achieves good position and pays.
On the other hand
, it is important to give
time
 to his or her social
life
 too because if a person wants to enjoy his
life
 after earning a high salary
then
 he or she has to be a good social animal too.
Furthermore
, he has to give
time
 to join family functions or get-together parties with his or her family and friends.
Hence
, it is only possible if he can give priority to social
life
. To reiterate, the proponent of giving
time
 to their
career
 to get food and
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 their family needs
whereas
, the advocators of social
life
also
 play a vital role in everybody's
life
. In my opinion, both aspects have their own role in living a happy
life
 because if you have a good salary to give a comfortable
life
 to your family which gives you peace and earn a high standard status in society too.
Submitted by gs9542529 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to have a clear introduction that clearly presents the two views.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your ideas to provide a more thorough analysis.
lexical resource
Consider using more varied vocabulary to enhance your essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • prioritize
  • strike a balance
  • ambitious
  • dedicated
  • work-life balance
  • career-oriented
  • professional success
  • financial stability
  • personal fulfillment
  • contribute
  • supportive
  • cherish
  • bond
  • memorable
  • experience
  • social connections
  • commitment
  • advocate
  • sacrifice
  • juggle
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