Some say that music, art, and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

I totally agree with the idea that teaching artistic
subjects
, including music, fine arts, movies and drama, especially at primary
school
is as important as teaching the other
subjects
, liberal arts because of the following two reasons; one is that
children
can nourish their sense of design and the other is that they can cultivate communicating
skills
, which are both important in later educational stages and in future jobs. On the one hand,
children
can nourish their sense of designing something, which is an important skill in the producing process in many situations, i.e.
children
have an equal chance to obtain some
skills
in sensing colours, sounds, movements of other objects or facial expressions of others
while
they observe and experience genuine artworks as
school
subjects
.
For example
,
children
who have lots of experience in listening to music, watching dramas, and drawing pictures have superior ability in creating articles, advertising posters, and
school
albums and
such
high creativity is what is necessary in many production companies.
On the other hand
,
school
children
can learn communication
skills
through watching movies and dramas,
in other words
, they can experience other people’s lives in videos, and
this
enables them to achieve social
skills
that are needed in the adult world.
For instance
,
children
who often watch comedy shows on TV at home tend to be good at making people laugh and
such
ability has a positive influence on the atmosphere in any workplace and leads to more productivity of a company or a department. In conclusion, teaching art-relating
subjects
at the primary stage of schooling is important
as well as
other
subjects
so-called liberal arts because it can promote one’s creativity and socializing
skills
, which will be important later in life.
Submitted by kana_ayaki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
In your introduction, it’s better to use 'drama and fine arts' consistently throughout the essay to maintain coherence.
task achievement
Consider using more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance readability and showcase your language range.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument easily.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which makes your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly presented and easy to understand, which is crucial for effective communication.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
What to do next:
Look at other essays: