Some say that music, art, and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?
I totally agree with the idea that teaching artistic
subjects
, including music, fine arts, movies and drama, especially at primary Use synonyms
school
is as important as teaching the other Use synonyms
subjects
, liberal arts because of the following two reasons; one is that Use synonyms
children
can nourish their sense of design and the other is that they can cultivate communicating Use synonyms
skills
, which are both important in later educational stages and in future jobs.
On the one hand, Use synonyms
children
can nourish their sense of designing something, which is an important skill in the producing process in many situations, i.e. Use synonyms
children
have an equal chance to obtain some Use synonyms
skills
in sensing colours, sounds, movements of other objects or facial expressions of others Use synonyms
while
they observe and experience genuine artworks as Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
subjects
. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
children
who have lots of experience in listening to music, watching dramas, and drawing pictures have superior ability in creating articles, advertising posters, and Use synonyms
school
albums and Use synonyms
such
high creativity is what is necessary in many production companies.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
children
can learn communication Use synonyms
skills
through watching movies and dramas, Use synonyms
in other words
, they can experience other people’s lives in videos, and Linking Words
this
enables them to achieve social Linking Words
skills
that are needed in the adult world. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
children
who often watch comedy shows on TV at home tend to be good at making people laugh and Use synonyms
such
ability has a positive influence on the atmosphere in any workplace and leads to more productivity of a company or a department.
In conclusion, teaching art-relating Linking Words
subjects
at the primary stage of schooling is important Use synonyms
as well as
other Linking Words
subjects
so-called liberal arts because it can promote one’s creativity and socializing Use synonyms
skills
, which will be important later in life.Use synonyms
Submitted by kana_ayaki on
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coherence cohesion
In your introduction, it’s better to use 'drama and fine arts' consistently throughout the essay to maintain coherence.
task achievement
Consider using more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance readability and showcase your language range.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument easily.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which makes your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly presented and easy to understand, which is crucial for effective communication.