Some say that music, art, and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

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I totally agree with the idea that teaching artistic
subjects
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, including music, fine arts, movies and drama, especially at primary
school
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is as important as teaching the other
subjects
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, liberal arts because of the following two reasons; one is that
children
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can nourish their sense of design and the other is that they can cultivate communicating
skills
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, which are both important in later educational stages and in future jobs. On the one hand,
children
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can nourish their sense of designing something, which is an important skill in the producing process in many situations, i.e.
children
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have an equal chance to obtain some
skills
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in sensing colours, sounds, movements of other objects or facial expressions of others
while
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they observe and experience genuine artworks as
school
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subjects
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.
For example
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,
children
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who have lots of experience in listening to music, watching dramas, and drawing pictures have superior ability in creating articles, advertising posters, and
school
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albums and
such
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high creativity is what is necessary in many production companies.
On the other hand
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,
school
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children
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can learn communication
skills
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through watching movies and dramas,
in other words
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, they can experience other people’s lives in videos, and
this
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enables them to achieve social
skills
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that are needed in the adult world.
For instance
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,
children
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who often watch comedy shows on TV at home tend to be good at making people laugh and
such
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ability has a positive influence on the atmosphere in any workplace and leads to more productivity of a company or a department. In conclusion, teaching art-relating
subjects
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at the primary stage of schooling is important
as well as
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other
subjects
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so-called liberal arts because it can promote one’s creativity and socializing
skills
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, which will be important later in life.
Submitted by kana_ayaki on

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coherence cohesion
In your introduction, it’s better to use 'drama and fine arts' consistently throughout the essay to maintain coherence.
task achievement
Consider using more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance readability and showcase your language range.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps the reader follow your argument easily.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which makes your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly presented and easy to understand, which is crucial for effective communication.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
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