The graph below gives information about the percentages of the population in four Asia countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentages of the population in four Asia countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
line graph provides
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information regarding the number of
population
living in cities from
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, Malaysia,
Thailand
, and Indonesia.
Overall
, the
population
in the given cities are in the trend of increase. Especially, the number of people who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
started living in the city of Malaysia soared so fast, which takes first place among the all figures except for 1970 and 1990. In detail,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Indonesia's city
population
rate
is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
second,
followed by
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
and
Thailand
. It had the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
population
rate
until 2000,
however
, it rocketed from
then
so fast, and it is predicted to be 60% in 2040. The third largest
figure
is
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, which will occupy 50% in 2040. In 1970 and 1990, It had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
slightly more
rate
than Malaysia, which was 31% and 50% but it slapped again. The
last
figure
is
Thailand
, which will have the
leaset
Correct your spelling
lowest
figure
which is going not to have the
dominat
Correct your spelling
dominant
over 50% number of
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
population
, differently from others. in 2040. But, between 1970 and 2000, the
rate
of
Thailand
had the more or same
figure
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
with Indonesia. In conclusion, we can see
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
people are heading to cities rather than countries.
Submitted by kylarara on

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, thailand, rate, figure with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentages
  • population
  • Asia
  • countries
  • urban population
  • China
  • India
  • Japan
  • Indonesia
  • increased
  • decreasing
  • projected
  • predicted
  • peaked
  • declining
  • steadily
  • rate of increase
  • comparisons
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