Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is true that popular
people
are more known for their glamorous lifestyle than what they actually have gained and
therefore
they might be bad role models for the youth society.
However
, I partly agree with
this
statement. On the one hand, there are a variety of reasons why it is thought that wealthy famous
people
may badly affect young and ambitious ones. The lives of rich, famous
people
are presented through social media and teenagers are exposed to the luxurious
life
of their dreams without accurately understanding their background.
For example
, they might not figure out how much effort famous
people
have made into meeting their current
life
and
this
appears as something easy to them.
Furthermore
, following rich
people
's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
may lead to high unrealistic expectations for juveniles and by not reaching
such
a place, they might feel disappointed.
On the other hand
, not all
people
are famous without their achievements being considered and if so it would not necessarily have negative effects.
Firstly
, watching a person lead his or her
life
by achieving their passion, teaches
ineexperienced
Correct your spelling
inexperienced
ones that they can possibly make their dreams come true. A young boy
for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
instance, may become interested in playing a guitar under the influence of his famous guitarist.
Secondly
, by setting wealthy famous
people
as role models, young ones are becoming tempted to work hard with the ambition of a more luxurious
life
. In conclusion,
Although
following
people
who are only well-known for their charming
life
might be a bad example for adolescents, I think it would bring profits for them as well.
Submitted by z.rajabi on

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coherence cohesion
Expand on the reasons why famous people may be seen as bad role models in the first paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Offer a counterargument in the second paragraph to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
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