IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

A friend has invited you to a party, but you are busy on the day it’s being held. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: • Apologies for not being able to attend • Explain why you are busy • Invite your friend to do something else with you

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Dear Thomas, I hope
this
Linking Words
 email finds you in good health and you are doing well. I am writing
this
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 email to inform you of the reason why I am unable to the party and the subsequent planning with you.
To begin
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 with, I was really over the moon when I was invited to your birthday party at your residence on the 15th of March.
Besides
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 I had a lot of planning to do something special at the birthday party. Unfortunately, it is not possible to attend the program as I will be busy at that time and I apologize for
this
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 inconvenience. As you know, I have been working in a multinational company as a supply chain manager and recently I was selected to lead a
project
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 which is the most challenging
project
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 not only for me but
also
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 for my company.
Therefore
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, I have to dedicate myself full-time to making
this
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project
Use synonyms
 successful.
This
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 is because I am unable to attend your birthday program.
However
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,
this
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project
Use synonyms
 will be accomplished within the next three months and I have a plan to invite you to my house to spend a day having delicious food
as well as
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 full of entertainment. I hope you will consider my situation positively and will accept my invitation too. Yours lovingly, Robert

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the letter is well-organized with each paragraph discussing a clear, single idea. Your letter follows this format effectively but can be enhanced by linking sentences more smoothly to improve flow.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and make your writing more cohesive. This includes sequential phrases (e.g., Firstly, Secondly) and contrastive phrases (e.g., However, On the other hand)
task achievement
Make sure the response fully addresses all parts of the task. You've done well in apologizing for your absence, explaining the reason, and suggesting an alternate plan. To further enhance your response, consider elaborating a bit more on each section to add depth to your letter.
task achievement
Adopt a consistent and appropriate tone throughout your letter. Your tone is suitably friendly and apologetic, matching the context of writing to a friend. For improvement, consider using more varied expressions of regret and proposals for future plans to enrich the emotional depth.
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