İn many countries, the tradition of having family meals together is disappearing. Why is happening? What will the effects of this be on the family and society?

#i̇n #countries #tradition #meals #effects #be #society

Currently, the habit of

people

eating together is declining day by day in various parts of the world.

This

essay will

initially

address how

this

happened, followed by its detrimental effects on society.

To begin

with, contemporary technology and work are the main reasons why

people

shouldn’t eat meals with their family.

Firstly

people

are getting busier. Nowadays, the amount of work has increased significantly, many workers want to get more money, so they always try to work as much as possible, which leads to a lack of family grub.

Secondly

, with the advent of electronic device usage, a great many

people

moved away from live communication and have become dependent on

them

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

. Contrary to the past, families,

instead

of having dinner

while

public

Correct article usage

the public

show examples

gather around a table and

talk

Correct subject-verb agreement

talks

show examples

, prefer the conversation on

such

online platforms as WhatsApp or Facebook. To exemplify, the majority of friends and relatives create chat groups on these platforms, and they are constantly aware of each other. At

this

point, it can be said the belief that family members do not meet each other in the long run can negatively affect the mental and physical health of humans.

Thus

, weakening the bonds of love between relatives can lead to the deterioration of family relations and unethical results.

Second,

by eating out too much,

people

can have some chronic illnesses. As confirmed by a number of studies, children who have been eating with their parents at least three times a week are far more intelligent and confident compared to others. In conclusion, the disappearance of families’ eating customs can cause numerous negative impacts. If

this

situation isn’t tackled right away, it will have an overreaching effect on many

people

Submitted by semabayramova00 on Mon Oct 16 2023

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Task Achievement

Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. This will help guide the reader and clarify the main focus of the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph.

Task Achievement

Expand on the detrimental effects on society. Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your claims.

Lexical Resource

Use more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance the lexical resource of the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Check for and correct any grammatical errors throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

284 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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İn many countries, the tradition of having family meals together is disappearing. Why is happening? What will the effects of this be on the family and society?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (e.g. cost, environments. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both veiws and give your opinion?

Some people believe that the activities of large multinational corporations mostly benefit the economies of developing countries. Other people take the opposite view and feel that these large multinationals are generally harmful. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

What are some challenges faced when moving to a new country?