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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017
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The line graph compares the
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists visiting C
island
Use synonyms
 over a
period
Use synonyms
 of 8 years.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 has increased over the
period
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of enthusiastic individuals
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
staying on the
island
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 generally exceeds those
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
staying on cruise ships. In 2010,
.75million of
Correct your spelling
a million
visitors
Use synonyms
 preferred to stay on
Use synonyms
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
whereas
Linking Words
, only .5 individuals were willing to stay on
ship
Add an article
the ship
show examples
. Between 2011 and 2013,
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of
island
Use synonyms
 residents increased significantly to 1.5 million
visitors
Use synonyms
,
in contrast
Linking Words
number
Use synonyms
 of ship passengers remained at a steady level of 0.5. over
this
Linking Words
period
Use synonyms
. afterwards,
although
Linking Words
island
Use synonyms
 inhabitants saw no change, ship
visitors
Use synonyms
 increased and overtook
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
middle
Correct article usage
the middle
show examples
2015
Change preposition
of 2015
show examples
, And continued the upward trend until the year 2017.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the total
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 saw
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 steady increase from
Correct your spelling
1 million
1million
Correct your spelling
1 million
 to 2.7 million
visitors
Use synonyms
 during the
period
Use synonyms
 of 2010 to 2015,
although
Linking Words
 it remained stable from 2015 to 2016, the
island
Use synonyms
 witnessed a remarkable increase in
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 until 2017.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, island, period, visitors with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • steady increase
  • sharp decline
  • seasonal variation
  • cruise ship visitors
  • island stay visitors
  • economic impact
  • environmental impact
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable tourism
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