Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that expenditures on products are more presenting the effect of

commercials

than what

people

actually have a need for. To some extent, I agree that advertising could tempt someone to buy unnecessary goods, but I mostly support the idea that

people

still prioritise their requirements

while

shopping. Nowadays, many

people

are under the permanent influence of advertising which leads to improper shopping.

Firstly

, with the widespread media and huge budgets investing in advertisements, we humans are exposed to a constant introduction of new products which are quite interesting. From TV

commercials

, radios and billboards to apps on our personal phones, advertisements somehow encourage us to buy something for a temporary pleasure, not a real need.

Moreover

, companies exert whatever helps them in

this

competitive consumerism world like using psychologistic tricks or hiring a famous actor and they

therefore

easily direct our

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

However

, I believe that despite advertising attempts to attract customers,

people

are still aware of what they need.

Firstly

, in

this

current world, the price of products especially those that are highly advertised, are rapidly increasing and

people

can hardly afford their crucial needs let alone extra goods.

Secondly

, advertising methods are getting old-fashioned and some ridiculous tricks about making

people

feel they need something that they actually did not are becoming impractical.

For example

, we all now know that TV

commercials

are not fully trustworthy and if they present themselves as qualified producers we should not believe them. In conclusion,

Although

the power of advertising affects everyone's purchases, society is still determining what they want to consume regardless of

commercials

Submitted by z.rajabi on Mon Oct 16 2023

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lexical resource

Try to paraphrase the topic statement in your introduction to show a variety of vocabulary.

lexical resource

Provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion is a bit vague. Try to summarize your main points and reinforce your position.

task achievement

Make sure to stay focused on the given topic and consistently address the argument in your paragraphs.

grammatical range accuracy

There are a few sentence structure errors that affect the overall clarity of your essay. Make sure to review your grammar.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

consumer behavior
perceived need
lifestyle aspirations
brand image
prestige
psychological techniques
scarcity
social proof
celebrity endorsements
technological advancements
product innovations
emerging consumer needs

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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

some people think that public health is the responsilibility of the government while others think that people should be responsbile for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Currently, there is a trend towards alternative forms of medicine. However, at the best these methods are ineffective, and worst, they may be dangerous. In what extend do you agree with this statement.

Some people believe that life in a big city is difficult while others say that it is more convenient. What are the advantages and disadvantages of living in big cities?

Nowadays, some buildings such as offices and schools have open-space design instead of separate rooms. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that goverment is wasting money on the art and that this money could be better spent somewhere else. To what extent do you agree with this view.