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Band 7

As well as marking money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #businesses #responsibilities
In order to develop and scale a
company
,
businesses
 have always sought to make a profit, but I do believe that firms should not only focus on boosting the
company
’s revenue but
also
 should do more for
society
 On the one hand, it is undeniable that
company
 profits play an important role in enabling a business to survive in a competitive world and opening up opportunities for them to contribute more to
society
. Financial resources
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the primary requirement for operating a business. Every
company
 needs to have the ability to cover its running costs,
such
 as employees’ wages and payments for buildings and utilities. On top of these costs,
companies
also
 need to invest in innovation and hire professionals if they wish to remain successful and compete with other
companies
 in the market. If a
company
 is unable to pay its bills or expenses, they highly likely cannot contribute to
society
 or even go bankrupt.
In other words
, a
company
 which is in good financial health can make a positive contribution to
society
.
On the other hand
,
while
 the development of a
company
 leads to economic growth and opens more job opportunities for the host country,
businesses
 should have a wider role to play in
society
. There are many approaches that
companies
 can apply.
Firstly
, In order to help underprivileged people and improve their lives,
businesses
 should establish charity funds to support charitable programs for them.
Secondly
,
instead
 of trying to minimize
company
 profits, I believe that each
company
 should definitely pay significant attention to environmental issues, one of the most critical problems in the world. Indeed, each
company
 should invest more in environmental innovation to protect the environment.
For example
, an increasing number of
companies
 have transitioned to producing electric cars to reduce carbon emissions. which is a truly great idea to improve our environment. In conclusion,
besides
 making profits,
businesses
 should place as much importance on their social responsibilities as they do on their target of finance.
Submitted by nvduc2910 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contributes to the overall argument and is logically connected to the previous and following paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments and make them more persuasive.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary throughout the essay to demonstrate a more advanced level of language proficiency.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structures and use a variety of sentence types to showcase your grammatical range.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social responsibilities
  • Corporate social responsibility
  • Ethical behavior
  • Societal impact
  • Stakeholders
  • Profit-driven
  • Public perception
  • Environmental sustainability
  • Community development
  • Human rights
  • Workplace safety
  • Altruism
  • Balanced approach
  • Accountability
  • Consumer loyalty
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