In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on individualism, with people prioritizing their personal goals and desires over collective interests. Is this is a positive or negative development?
In many societies, there is a growing emphasis on
individualism
, with people prioritizing their personal goals
and desires over collective interests
. This
trend has both positive and negative implications, but I believe that the overall
impact is negative.
On the positive side, individualism
can foster personal growth and self-fulfillment
. When Change the spelling
self-fulfilment
individuals
prioritize their own goals
and desires, they are more likely to pursue their passions and achieve success in their chosen fields. This
can lead to innovation, creativity, and personal satisfaction. Additionally
, individualism
encourages personal responsibility and accountability, as individuals
take ownership of their actions and decisions.
However
, the negative consequences of excessive individualism
should not be overlooked. When people prioritize their personal goals
above collective interests
, it can lead to a breakdown in social cohesion and cooperation. In a society where everyone is solely focused on their own success, there is a lack of collaboration and support for one another. This
can hinder progress and development at both the individual and societal levels.
Furthermore
, excessive individualism
can contribute to inequality and social divisions. When individuals
prioritize their own interests
, it often comes at the expense of others. This
can lead to a widening wealth gap, as resources and opportunities become concentrated in the hands of a few. It can also
lead to a sense of isolation and disconnection among individuals
, as the focus on personal goals
can overshadow the importance of community and collective well-being.
In conclusion, while
individualism
can have some positive aspects such
as personal growth and self-fulfillment
, the Change the spelling
self-fulfilment
overall
impact is negative. Excessive individualism
can undermine social cohesion, hinder progress, and contribute to inequality. Therefore
, it is important to strike a balance between individual goals
and collective interests
for the betterment of society as a whole.Submitted by fbagheri285 on
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coherence cohesion
The essay was well structured and cohesive. Paragraphs logically followed one another and sentences within paragraphs were coherent, which is good. However, it could be improved by making sure each main point ties in with the overall theme of the paragraph and the essay as a whole.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are excellent. They summarise the main points of the essay accurately. Keep it up!
task achievement
Each main point in your essay was supported by an apt explanation, which is commendable. To improve, try to provide evidence or examples to substantiate your claims which could significantly enhance your score in the task achievement criterion.
task achievement
You have completed the task with a clear position throughout the response. The ideas were explained comprehensively, which means you have a clear understanding of the task requirement. Well done!
task achievement
You provided some relevant examples in your essay, which is good. However, there was a lack of specific examples to validate your points. In your future essays, try to support your arguments with more clear and specific examples.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.