IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

We live in a world in which we are constantly exposed to advertising. To what extent do advertisement influence our choices as a customer and what effect does it have on our lifestyle? Discuss the issue and give your opinion, give reasons for your answer with examples.

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In today's modern era, advertising is the most common way to
show case
Correct your spelling
showcase

The word show case seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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 the product and to reach
maximum
Change the article
a maximum
the maximum

It appears that the phrase maximum number does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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 number of customers.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, people see ads very often on social media, television, or radio. There is no
argue
Replace the word
argument

The word argue doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 that advertisements
influenced
Wrong verb form
influence

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb influenced. Consider changing it.

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 customers to the utmost extent.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay describes the effects on consumers with my personal opinion.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, with the help of expensive cameras, nice choreography, and casting famous actors sellers attract the customer, and
made
Wrong verb form
make

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb made. Consider changing it.

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 them buy the item. Most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time

It seems that times may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, customers end up
with
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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disappointment
Replace the word
disappointed

The word disappointment doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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, when they don't get the same satisfaction after spending a certain amount of money.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, nowadays, there are advertisements
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 lotteries and scams,
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they will say to invest their money in some sort of scheme and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 they will double it, but at
Linking Words
Linking Words
last
Add a comma
last,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase at last. Consider adding a comma.

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 they run away with all the money.
Linking Words
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase However. Consider adding a comma.

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 it does have
the
Correct article usage
a

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 good effect on people's lives. Persons are gaining knowledge about the new launches in the market; and eventually with the new launch
compition
Correct your spelling
competition

If you don’t want compition to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

increases, which gives more variety to the consumers, which leads to
great
Add an article
the great
a great

The noun phrase great quality seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 quality of the product as well, but on the other side, it creates doubts in the minds of consumers. They get distracted by seeing the items on discounts with cheap quality. In conclusion, every coin has two sides. I strongly opine that quality matters. Buyers should not
influence
Wrong verb form
be influenced

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb influence. Consider changing it.

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 by seeing a random ad, they should investigate the product before buying it.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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