Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both schools and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#children #lifestyle #schools #parents

In modern society, our

parents

and teachers tell offspring should have a good healthy lifestyle every day,

however

, some offspring have many incorrect habits. I completely disagree with the opinion,

although

, the

parents

and schools have a responsibility to teach them. The first reason,

besides

the teachers and

parents

, the offspring can touch more people every day, and they talk about more

information

Firstly

, children can learn any methods to solve problems, if the methods are bad, but they cannot judge them,

then

they will use them the next time they encounter the same problem.

For example

, If some children have drinks and are smokers, others will perhaps do the same things.

Secondly

, the

parents

do not like to eat many foods, if the children will learn their

parents

' food habits.

On the other hand

, offspring learn more about the bad things through modern media, the media can get more

information

via television, mobile phones, and other internet tools.

This

information

should be filtered or classified, to void unhealthy content appearance. Meanwhile, they spend more time playing mobile phone games or videos, they do not like to go outside. Even so, I have to admit that schools and

parents

teach a better lifestyle with their knowledge and experience,

this

is a very important programme when the offspring grow. In conclusion, society and the media can bring more things, including some bad

information

, so that the offspring learn their actions,

although

, the schools and

parents

have more responsibility to teach the offspring.

Submitted by erichardxin on Tue Oct 17 2023

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coherence cohesion

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lexical resource

The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary and lacks precision in the use of language. There are numerous lexical and grammatical errors that hinder the clarity of the message.

grammatical range

The essay contains multiple grammatical errors, including tense usage, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. The lack of complex sentences and variety in structures affects the overall coherence of the essay.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

unhealthy lifestyle
growing concern
crucial role
addressing this issue
promote healthy habits
educational programs
physical activities
establish healthy routines
nutritious meals
collaboration

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Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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