IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The amount of garbage produced by our cities is a big problem for governments around the world.How this problem can be solved?

#amount #garbage #cities #governments #world
These days, manufacturing is increasing considerably across the world.It causes the environment to be filled with garbage. Trash is one of the biggest problems in most countries.
In other words
,there are some drawbacks and negative effects on people's health and environment.
To begin
 with, in every developed country there is a significant increase in industrialization.
For example
 , there are many
factories
.
Factories
 will produce a high level of trash and pollution . As a consequence factory can release carbon gases and smokes. They impact negatively on an individual's health
such
 as heart attack.
In other words
,
factories
 usually throw away their produced trash to the environment.
Secondly
, it would be great to reduce manufacturing as soon as possible.
Nevertheless
, many
factories
 should be built in rural areas more than in urban ones.
Subsequently
, the air would be cleaner and fresher than that of these days.
Besides
, governments should have to spend a percentage of their budget on the improvements of air quality. It is absolutely true that with the help of these solutions, it would be possible to preserve our surroundings much more effectively and make the world a better place for human beings.
To conclude
, it is not only the government's issue and responsibility
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Correct article usage
the residents
show examples
residents
Change noun form
residents'
resident's
show examples
 need to try to solve these problems.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: