IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the chart below shoes information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989.

the chart below shoes information about changes in average house prices in five different cities between 1990 and 2002 compared with the average house prices in 1989.
#shoes #information #changes #house #prices #five #cities
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The bar chart provided information on
changes
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 in average house charges in New York (USA), Frankfurt (Germany), Madrid (Spain), London (UK), and
Tokyo
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 (
Japan
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) from 1990 to 2002 compared with the average house cost in 1989.
Overall
Linking Words
, between 1990 and 1995 only two cities made slight
changes
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, and the three other countries declined.
However
Linking Words
, the proportion of house charges from 1999 to 2002 surged for four countries,
while
Linking Words
Tokyo
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 (
Japan
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) diminished. Frankfurt (Germany) has escalated
changes
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 compared the ratio from 1989 prices and made it to the highest country in midpoint from 1990 to 1995 by approximately 3%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest ratio
changes
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 stated to both countries which London (UK) and
Tokyo
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 (
Japan
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) with well under zero
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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. From 1996 to 2002,
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Tokyo
Change noun form
Tokyo's
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 (
Japan
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)’s ratio
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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dramatically climbed to just beyond 10%,
while
Linking Words
Tokyo
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 is still under 0% but has moderately
leveled
Change the spelling
levelled
show examples
 up.
Submitted by heyyo on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words changes, tokyo, japan with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
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