The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Music
is a form of art which is very beneficial. Some
people
listen to
music
while
performing some excercises. Many
people
thinks that listening to
music
can be good to relieve some
stress
. From my point of view, the latter one is most important function of
music
and I am describing it with some relevant examples.
Firstly
,
music
can have sundry benefits and one of the most important is relieving
stress
. Let's assume there are many studnets who loves listening
music
while
doing some assignments or homework.
This
help them to create a mollifying environment and keep there mind more active. For some student it can be an optimum environment for studying
while
for some it can be disturbing environment.
In addition
to, it is not just for students, but
also
for
people
who really want to reduce their
stress
.
For instance
: almost every
stress
relieving centre have some
music
on. It is scientifically
also
proven by many universities that
music
really can be
stress
reliever sometimes. On other hand,
music
may play an important role for
stress
removing for some
people
, but there are many men and women who are strongly against
this
idea.
According to
them it can distract you from something that you were doing.
For example
: if a student is doing homework and
then
he plays some party songs, so
this
is for sure going to distract him,
instead
of relieving
stress
.
To conclude
,
music
can be
stress
reliever, but that depends on what kind of
music
you are listening. If person is heart broken,
then
playing some sad songs will definetly make things worse.
Submitted by khushiaggarwal255 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the topic but lacks depth and balance in discussing the extent to which music helps reduce stress. Make sure to provide a more balanced argument with clear explanations and examples to support your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks proper organization and logical progression of ideas. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more clearly defined, and organize your supporting points in a more cohesive manner.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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