IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#function #music #people #stress
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Music
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 is a form of art which is very beneficial. Some
people
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 listen to
music
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while
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 performing some excercises. Many
people
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 thinks that listening to
music
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 can be good to relieve some
stress
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. From my point of view, the latter one is most important function of
music
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 and I am describing it with some relevant examples.
Firstly
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,
music
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 can have sundry benefits and one of the most important is relieving
stress
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. Let's assume there are many studnets who loves listening
music
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while
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 doing some assignments or homework.
This
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 help them to create a mollifying environment and keep there mind more active. For some student it can be an optimum environment for studying
while
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 for some it can be disturbing environment.
In addition
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 to, it is not just for students, but
also
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 for
people
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 who really want to reduce their
stress
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.
For instance
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: almost every
stress
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 relieving centre have some
music
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 on. It is scientifically
also
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 proven by many universities that
music
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 really can be
stress
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 reliever sometimes. On other hand,
music
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 may play an important role for
stress
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 removing for some
people
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, but there are many men and women who are strongly against
this
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 idea.
According to
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 them it can distract you from something that you were doing.
For example
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: if a student is doing homework and
then
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 he plays some party songs, so
this
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 is for sure going to distract him,
instead
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 of relieving
stress
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.
To conclude
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,
music
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 can be
stress
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 reliever, but that depends on what kind of
music
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 you are listening. If person is heart broken,
then
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 playing some sad songs will definetly make things worse.
Submitted by khushiaggarwal255 on

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Task Achievement
Your essay addresses the topic but lacks depth and balance in discussing the extent to which music helps reduce stress. Make sure to provide a more balanced argument with clear explanations and examples to support your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay lacks proper organization and logical progression of ideas. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more clearly defined, and organize your supporting points in a more cohesive manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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