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Band 4

The use of smartphones is decreasing our collective intelligence because we are reliant on the technology not on our own minds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#smartphones #intelligence #technology #minds
Nowadays , with technology developed smartphones become
butter
Correct your spelling
better
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 and more smart than before .
Therefore
 ,a lot of
people
start
Wrong verb form
started
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 getting new
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 to help them in business life as doing homework and doing full research.
As a result
for
Change preposition
of
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this
Add a comma
this,
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 the mindset for
community
Correct article usage
the community
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 becomes
worst
Correct word choice
worse
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 because they
depends
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depend
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 on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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artificial
intelligent
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intelligence
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.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 there are tremendous
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 from mobile
phons
Correct your spelling
phones
show examples
.
moreover
,
this
 essay will argue
this
 statement and
also
 will provide some
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
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. Many
people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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strongly believe that they can not live
with out
Correct your spelling
without
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phons
Correct your spelling
phones
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 because their whole life
rely
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relies
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 on the phone , In my
opinion
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opinion,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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full
Change the word
fully
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 agree with
this
. Because for me
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technology now makes our
live
Replace the word
lives
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 easier .
In
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For
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instance
Add an article
an instance
the instance
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 in Saudi Arabia , there is a math competition
and
Correct word choice
apply
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this
 competition include three different
stage
Change to a plural noun
stages
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the first step is
 taking
online
Correct article usage
an online
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 test to select
best
Correct article usage
the best
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student
 to compete in the next
student
 , so in the
last
 3 years the organisation noticeable that
student
start
Wrong verb form
started
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 getting
high
Add an article
a high
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 score as contrast in past
,
Remove the comma
apply
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after they
analyses
Change the verb form
analyse
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 they discovered that
student
solve
Change the verb form
solves
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 the questions by using artificial intelligent.so the goal from
this
 competition it
is not achieve
Change the verb form
is not achieved
show examples
. Looking in more
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
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of
Change preposition
at
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 the bad way. The students now do not
trying
Change the verb form
try
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 to improve themselves by solving some problem they
full
Change the word
fully
show examples
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
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 on the phone . In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
full
Change the word
fully
show examples
 disagree with
this
 specific when
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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doing
Wrong verb form
do
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 that because in
this
 period they suppose to try and discover what
happen
Wrong verb form
is happening
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 around them . So
unforchently
Correct your spelling
unforcedly
people
in
Change preposition
of
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 the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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time
used
Wrong verb form
use
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 phones in
bad
Change the article
a bad
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 way. In conclusion ,
while
 there are tremendous
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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 using mobile there are
also
 a lot of bad
point
Change to a plural noun
points
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which is
Verb problem
that
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effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the growth mindset
for
Change preposition
of
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people
.
Submitted by fatemah221027 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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