some people think that it is beneficial to travel abroad, but others think it is unnecessary because we have the Internet and TV. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #travel #internet #tv

Nowadays, more

offten

Correct your spelling

often

we can see

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

travel

around the

world

. Some people have

idea

Add an article

an idea

the idea

show examples

that we can watch the same

travel

destination

through

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

while

others think

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

will give more

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

for

Change preposition

show examples

travelers

Change the spelling

travellers

show examples

Change preposition

In my

show examples

point of view,

travel

Correct your spelling

travelling

show examples

abroad will provide more advantages than watching those places in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

digital media, In

this

essay I will discuss both views and will give the reasons for that. Most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

peole

Correct your spelling

people

travel

thier

Correct your spelling

their

hobby, after stressful work life they save their annual leaves for

walk

Add an article

a walk

show examples

around the

world

consequently

, they will have a lot of

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

from

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

This

a different

experience

that some will have in a once their lifetime

such

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

air plane

Correct your spelling

aeroplane

show examples

and

visit

Wrong verb form

visiting

show examples

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

country. If we

travel

to the place we will have a chance to see every

details

Change to a singular noun

detail

show examples

Change preposition

with

show examples

our bare eyes in that place.

Moreover

this

feeling we can not explain

without

Correct pronoun usage

this without

show examples

experiencing

Correct pronoun usage

experiencing it

show examples

For example

, If you visit

Taj

Correct article usage

the Taj

show examples

Mahal you can go inside it, explore all over details of the

architechral

Correct your spelling

architecture

that they used and

experience

the New Dhili city culture and food

Rephrase

apply

show examples

also

However

, we can watch

programm

Correct your spelling

programmes

about

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

all around the

world

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

. Because there are a lot of sources in the modern

world

without going there we can watch

such

programm

Correct your spelling

programmes

or YouTube

channel

Fix the agreement mistake

channels

show examples

This

will save our money and time,

due to

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

will require

Correct article usage

a consideralbe

show examples

consideralbe amout

Correct your spelling

considerable amount

of funds. We can use

this

money for our future

such

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

education or buying a property. For

instant

Replace the word

instance

show examples

, if you turn to

Correct article usage

the "Travel

show examples

Travel

Xp"

channel you could

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

travel

around the

world

in a day or I you go to YouTube there will be a lot of videos. In conclusion,

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

is an art, we can not get that

experience

through

programm

Correct your spelling

programmes

video

Fix the agreement mistake

videos

show examples

, we really need to

travel

those

Change preposition

to those

show examples

places to get the

reall

Correct your spelling

real

experience

However

, sometimes you have to spend a considerable amount

for

Change preposition

show examples

traveling

Change the spelling

travelling

show examples

but that

experience

is worth

Correct quantifier usage

more than

show examples

than

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

money you

spent

Wrong verb form

spend

show examples

Submitted by piuymi.madu on Wed Oct 18 2023

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Task Achievement

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Coherence and Cohesion

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Grammatical Range and Accuracy

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Lexical Resource

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
56Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

343 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

opportunity
exposure
cultural diversity
explore
immersive experience
language proficiency
intercultural communication
networking
global perspective
adaptability
experience new things
broaden horizons
virtual resources
convenience
accessibility
information overload
virtual reality
face-to-face interaction
personal connections
empathy
appreciation
unique
memorable
transformative
educational

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