In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message ?
In some cultures, it is often said that if
children
make great efforts, they will be able to attain whatever they want; however
, it would
partly Verb problem
apply
Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
depend
on individual aspects. Whether Correct subject-verb agreement
depends
this
attitude is correct or not, is a controversial issue.
From my point of view, that would be a certain method to encourage children
to achieve their goals; in spite of the fact that sometimes might be frustrating due to
lack of succeed
. In fact, it is extremely valuable to persuade Replace the word
success
children
to trying
hard for their individual purposes and teach them Change the verb form
try
this
fact that if they do their best, all of their dreams will be fulfilled. Correct determiner usage
the
Furthermore
, our children
must be ensured that we will stay by their sides
in order to help them on their long path; Fix the agreement mistake
side
thus
, they can overcome all the difficulties.
Nevertheless
, this
approach is not always successful or practical. For instance
, children
might witness a fiasco during a competition as oppose
to their hard Change the form of the verb
opposed
working
for several hours or even years. So, it would improve their vulnerability and disappointment and might instill Replace the word
work
them
Change preposition
in them
this
assumption that they did not deserve that triumph. Moreover
, this
would be occurred
Wrong verb form
occur
by
the circumstances Change preposition
if
which
are associated Correct pronoun usage
apply
on
financial issues and they demand a lot of money; Change preposition
with
although
they made a great deal of efforts
. Fix the agreement mistake
effort
On
Change preposition
In
this
situation, we are responsible to cheer
them up and Change preposition
for cheering
teach
them other factors that are Wrong verb form
teaching
also
important to attain their dreams such
as dedication and collaboration.
In conclusion, parents should make their children
aware of the failures that might be taken
place Wrong verb form
take
while
they are trying hard to achieve anything they want. Therefore
, motivating children
to work hard in order to make their dreams true is an essential issue that children
should be taught; even though, they might be impossible to achieveSubmitted by TUTOO on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Make your position on the topic clearer in the introduction.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Lexical Resource
Use more varied vocabulary and expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Improve your sentence structure and grammar.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...