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Writing Samples
Band 7

The three charts show the value in Australian dollars of Australian trade with three different countries from 2004 to 2009.

The three charts show the value in Australian dollars of Australian trade with three different countries from 2004 to 2009.
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The line graphs illustrate the import and export values of
Australia
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 with China,
Japan
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 and America in the period 2004-2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the trade between
Australia
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 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 increased,
while
Linking Words
 the trade figures for
Japan
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 and China remained stable during the period.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Australia
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's trade with China witnessed a significant increase in both import and export values. The value of imports started at just over 10
billion
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dollars
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 in 2004 and grew continuously by about 30
billion
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dollars
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 in the
last
Linking Words
 year.
Similarly
Linking Words
, there was a steady rise in the export values from 20 to 30
billion
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dollars
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 between 2004 and 2007,
then
Linking Words
 the figure
level
Wrong verb form
levelled
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 off
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
at this
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 point in the
last
Linking Words
 three years. About the value of imports between
Australia
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 and
Japan
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, having increased slightly from about 18
billion
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dollars
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 in 2004 to nearly 25
billion
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dollars
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 in 2006, the figure saw a sharp growth and reached a peak at 40
billion
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dollars
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 in 2008 before going down marginally by approximately 10
billion
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dollars
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 in 2009. Meanwhile,
although
Linking Words
 there were some fluctuations, exports
of
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from
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Australia
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 to
Japan
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 increased from 10 to just under 15
billion
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dollars
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 in the period.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, japan, billion, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuate
  • spike
  • decline
  • trend
  • trade deficit
  • trade surplus
  • commodity prices
  • economic policy
  • international relations
  • exports
  • imports
  • year-on-year
  • notable changes
  • trade volume
  • economic factors
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