The chart below shows the results of a survey into the causes of poor school attendance in the UK in 2007.

The chart below shows the results of a survey into the causes of poor school attendance in the UK in 2007.
The above pie chart illustrates
of
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apply
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a survey conducted regarding the factors based
for
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on
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poor
attendence
Correct your spelling
attendance
in the UK in 2007. it indicates
40
Correct word choice
that 40
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% of poor attendance was
due to
both parents working. n more detail, as shown in the figures, lack of
school
discipline followed by the former reasons with a quarter of total factors.
Moreover
,
according to
the survey, the proportion of peer group pressure was as much as the percentage of
school
bullying, both of which constituted 15% respectively.
Finally
, the smallest percentage of 5% was the reason that students did not attend
school
due to
upbringing
this
year. In summary, ‘both working parents’ and ‘lack of
school
discipline’ were the two significant influences on attendance, which
approximately
Rephrase
apply
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accounted for over half of the total reasons in UK Schools in 2007.
Submitted by shazraibrahimphotography2 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words school with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • attendance
  • survey
  • causes
  • parental involvement
  • bullying
  • safety concerns
  • academic performance
  • motivation
  • physical health
  • mental health
  • support
  • resources
  • students
  • peer pressure
  • influence
  • school environment
  • curriculum
  • transportation issues
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