IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
The society
Correct article usage
Society
show examples
 nowadays
view
Change the verb form
views
show examples
 the criteria of a person’s worth
depend
Verb problem
as dependent
show examples
 on social status and material possessions rather than moral values like honour, trust and kindness.
Body paragraph 1
I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 point and will explain my view
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay.
Body paragraph 2
Firstly
Linking Words
, The relationship recently focused only on a person’s job and how spending money for gifts and flowers for dating and impress the partner, and even when you got married .
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 when you introduce for marriage, the agreement depends on your luxury life and how much spent on the wedding ceremony, venue, party and services
Body paragraph 3
Secondly
Linking Words
, Material possessions seem to be most important for social acceptance. What fascinating
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
, cars, dressing, bags, and
accessorises
Correct your spelling
accessories
show examples
 you have.
Body paragraph 4
Consequently
Linking Words
, Unfortunately, these
judged
Replace the word
judges
show examples
comes
Correct subject-verb agreement
come
show examples
 from
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
 people from technology, and will, inheritance for children and next generation
Body paragraph 5
On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
, The decades of our grandparents
Correct your spelling
focused
foused
Correct your spelling
focused
 on moral appearances ,how men
generous
Add a missing verb
are generous
show examples
 and women kindness and all of these
value
Fix the agreement mistake
values
show examples
 hidden by luxury and technology
Conclusion
In conclusion, I strongly disagree
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
 how society
judged
Wrong verb form
judges
show examples
 human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 and must
be increase
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
 the awareness for criteria
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social
Change the word
socially
show examples
 acceptable

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
What to do next:
Look at other essays: