IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city ,while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable

#people #children #city #life #countryside
he
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
 environment that
children
 live in plays a crucial role in their development and nurturing. Some people believe that growing
children
 in the
city
 is better than growing them in the countryside.
However
, some people think that the countryside is the most convenient place for up-bringing
children
. In the following, we will discuss the pros and cons of both choices.
According to
 living in the
city
, there are more profound recreational
activities
 and facilities for
children
.
For example
, a higher number of parks, gardens, and shopping malls are available for
children
 to engage in it.
Furthermore
, the availability of advanced educational institutions enriches the education process of
children
 and
thus
 allows them to find more job opportunities. Unfortunately,
children
 who live in rural areas suffer from limited educational resources.
Therefore
, that will narrow the possibility of finding more advanced careers in their future lives.
However
, living in the
city
 is not always the best. In fact, most
children
's
activities
 are limited to indoor places.
Hence
, they do not engage more in outdoor
activities
 which limits their imagination abilities. With regard to living in outskirt areas, the existence of limited healthcare facilities is a major concern and
hence
this
 would affect the
overall
 health of many
children
. Even though there is no advanced teaching environment
such
 as in the
city
 but
however
children
 living in the countryside
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 connected to nature. They engage more in outdoor
activities
 as there are plenty of green areas to play and enjoy. In fact, kids living in the
city
 do not take
this
 advantage.
Submitted by fmalquran112 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure to provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction. This will help guide your essay and make your main points more apparent.
task achievement
Expand on your points and provide more specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban environment
  • diverse opportunities
  • cultural experiences
  • educational facilities
  • career prospects
  • convenient transportation
  • sense of community
  • natural beauty
  • clean air
  • peaceful atmosphere
  • close-knit community
  • limited resources
  • lack of cultural activities
  • lack of educational opportunities
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • less social interaction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: