IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent times, it is usually believed that the government setting up free learning for six years is the superior way to reduce poverty in developing countries. In my view, I completely agree with
this
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 statement because of the free schooling, residents have the opportunity to learn the fundamental knowledge, contributing to the growth of the country.
To begin
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 with, free school fund allows dwellers to acquire the basis of awareness, making an attempt to develop the nation. Regardless of their background, everyone can access basic
education
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, having the ability to read, write and use numbers.
As a result
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, they are able to have more career opportunities with their high-level labour and better wages.
For instance
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, the survey in Vietnam showed that those with high levels of
education
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 are paid 3 times higher salaries than
people
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 without literacy levels.
Due to
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 the free study, the quality of life
as well as
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 the homey's growth will be better.
Furthermore
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, the government's investment in
education
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 for
people
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, especially those in highland areas, brings positive effects on the development of the country. In fact, the population in mountainous areas often have fewer educational opportunities than the community in plain areas, leading to economic difficulties, and causing a gap between rich and poor and economic imbalance. Free teaching for
people
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 here gives everyone the opportunity to acquire basic knowledge, bringing more effective income, and shortening the economic income gap between the highlands and the plains. Thanks to that, poverty in developing countries is
also
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 significantly reduced. In conclusion, free
education
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 for up to six years for
people
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 is an optimal method for reducing poverty in developed countries, it helps
people
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 access basic knowledge, brings great job opportunities with higher income, and contributes to national development.

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Task Response
Your essay does not fully meet the required task response as it lacks depth in addressing the prompt adequately. While you have presented a clear position, it is crucial to develop your arguments with more specific examples and evidence to fully satisfy the task.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay's logical structure could be improved by ensuring a clearer progression of ideas. Introduction and conclusions must always be included and currently, your essay lacks a proper conclusion. Use paragraphing to separate points effectively and make use of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs seamlessly.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • functional literacy
  • numeracy skills
  • educational opportunity
  • employment prospects
  • critical thinking
  • empowerment
  • inequality reduction
  • sustainable development
  • innovation
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