Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

In today's consumer-driven society, shopping has emerged as a favourite hobby among young people.

This

essay will explore the reasons behind

this

trend and discuss whether it is essential to encourage them to engage in other productive

activities

. There are several factors contributing to the popularity of shopping among young people. One significant reason behind

this

is the influence of advertising and social media. Advertisers cleverly employ persuasive techniques to create

desire

Add an article

a desire

the desire

show examples

for products, leading young individuals to feel a constant need to shop. The accessibility of online shopping platforms and attractive deals

also

contribute to

this

phenomenon.

Moreover

, shopping offers a

sense

of instant gratification and accomplishment.

Furthermore

, the act of shopping itself can provide a temporary

sense

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

and escape from daily stressors, making it an appealing leisure activity.

While

shopping can be an enjoyable activity, it is important to encourage young individuals to engage in more useful and well-rounded pursuits. Spending excessive time and money on shopping can lead to financial issues and contribute to a shallow

sense

of self-worth based on material possessions. Encouraging participation in

activities

like sports, cultural events, volunteering, or pursuing educational and personal development can provide a more balanced and fulfilling life. These

activities

promote physical fitness, social interaction,

personal

Correct word choice

and personal

show examples

growth, and contribute positively to the community. In conclusion, shopping has become a popular pastime for young people

due to

the influence of advertising, easy accessibility, and the

sense

of immediate gratification it provides.

Nevertheless

, it is crucial to encourage them to explore other productive

activities

that can foster personal growth and contribute to the community. Striking a balance between shopping and alternative interests can lead to a more well-rounded and fulfilling life for the younger generation.

Submitted by nishadi.kaluarachchi on Wed Oct 18 2023

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coherence cohesion

Consider using more varied sentence structures to enhance the overall flow and cohesiveness of the essay.

task achievement

Provide specific examples to support your points and make your arguments more convincing.

grammatical range accuracy

Watch out for minor grammatical errors and ensure your sentences are clear and concise.

lexical resource

Expand your range of vocabulary to make your essay more sophisticated and compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

286 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do you think is that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays people are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in seprate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

The current trend in education is to move away from traditional exams and instead have continuous assignments over the school year. What do you think of this trend?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?