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Band 1

Some people think that because of email and telephone, communication among people is less personal now than it used to be. Do you agree or disagree with that view.

#people #email #telephone #communication
Firsly
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Firstly
 I think the mail and telephone are very important in the present and future.Because all
of
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apply
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jobs
use
 the internet
device
about
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for
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 their work.The second thing you need to
use
this
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is this
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device
Add a missing verb
is becaus
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becaus
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because
 all of
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the compnay
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compnay
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company
 want to save money
about
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on
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 the
papear
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paper
. The third thing I think
Add a missing verb
is the
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the
Correct your spelling
that
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 people are increasing
them
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their
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use
 the communication devices.
Then
 the new life
talled
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told
 us ``You must
use
 your
telephone``because
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telephone because
ever thing
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everything
show examples
 in life
change
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changes
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 to
electronice
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electronic
,But sometimes we need to
decreas
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decrease
 about using
Add an article
the device
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device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
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.
At
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In
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 the end I disagree
about
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that
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the
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apply
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people is less personal now than
it
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they
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 used to be,because the
using
Correct word choice
use of
show examples
 communication
device
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is higher than past.
Submitted by zr.a.r on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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