Many museum charge for admission while others are free Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages

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Numerous
museums
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have established and attracted many visitors, which may differ in several aspects, particularly the fee. Some
museums
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are free for the public,
while
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others require a fee. In my opinion, I believe that having admission
for
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to
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museums
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will bring more benefits, especially a stable quality, which will overshadow the drawbacks. Entry fees can ensure
museums
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are well-maintained, which can offer a stable quality for visitors. The earnings that
museums
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obtain from ticket sales will be used for buying specialized tools to protect the items as they have many precious and vulnerable artefacts that need to be preserved properly.
For example
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, renowned
museums
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in a particular country,
such
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as France, set a substantial fee for a
museum
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ticket to manage its displays orderly and nicely, and
also
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pay its workers adequately.
Thus
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, if a
museum
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is supported by money, it will have consistent standards to be visited.
On the other hand
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, people who work in a
museum
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cannot get paid sufficiently since the
museum
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does not charge for
an
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apply
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entry.
This
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can impact their performances since they will be reluctant to genuinely assist the visitors or manage the displays. To exemplify, in Indonesia, working in a
museum
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can generally be seen as a voluntary job, which results in unmotivated workers and poorly maintained
museums
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because the employees are not satisfied with the job and do not fully devote themselves to it.
As a result
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, the less money the
museums
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receive, the worse
overall
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quality they will have.
To conclude
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, I strongly consider charging for admission will benefit
museums
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, which can affect the stability of
museums
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by facilitating some equipment to secure the collections.
Otherwise
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, making them free will just lead to downsides,
such
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as low performance and declining standards.
Submitted by hanalyaa29 on

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Task Response
Consider adding a little more balance by acknowledging and addressing potential disadvantages of charging admission fees more directly, even if briefly, before reaffirming your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next. This will help maintain the flow of your essay. A few linking words or phrases could enhance this aspect.
Structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion that neatly frame your argument. Good job!
Task Response
You provided relevant examples which help to support your argument effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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