The shown Line graph below illustrates the condition of participation by club members to different courses.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The line graph provides information about the conditions of participation by club members in three courses : swimming, team sports, and

gym

Use synonyms

activities.

Overall

Linking Words

, team sports and

gym

Use synonyms

activities showed short growth,

by comparison

Linking Words

, swimming activities showed a significant decline. In 1995 swimming was very popular and held the top spot but in the next 10

years

Use synonyms

, it showed a very sharp fall from 50% to approximately 15%.

However

Linking Words

, the next five

years

Use synonyms

it showed

slight

Add an article

a slight

the slight

show examples

rise of about 2 per cent between 2010 and 2015.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, in 1995

gym

Use synonyms

sections was less interesting than other and held the

last

Linking Words

spot with a tiny minority (5%). To the surprise,

gym

Use synonyms

sections were able to show a dramatic rise from 5 per cent to about 28%. But after five

years

Use synonyms

, it lost a little bit of progress about 2-3 per cent. From 1995 to 2000, team sports were without any significant changes and showed approximately one of three (33%).

However

Linking Words

, in the next ten

Use synonyms

years

Add a comma

years,

show examples

it illustrates

modest

Correct article usage

a modest

show examples

peak at 33% to 40%. Unfortunately, the

years

Use synonyms

between 2010 and 2015 were lamentable since they lost progress and

come

Wrong verb form

came

show examples

back to their original value.

aikumarbekarysWed Oct 18 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words gym, years with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 6 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

192 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

illustrates
condition
participation
club members
courses
line graph
levels
fluctuated
overall
number of participants
observed
dance course
initial
increase
end of the period
lowest
art course
declining
gradually
music course
witnessed
relatively stable
hovering
conclusion
demonstrates

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
You are visiting a town where you once worked. Write to a friend you worked with there. Include the following in your letter: •Tell your friend about your life now. •Give him/her details of your visit. •Arrange how you can meet.
How are you doing? You won't believe what I'm going to say! Actually I ‘will be in Kurt city next week and I intend to visit our previous workplace in order to see old colleagues that we were working together one day.
7.5
band
Improvements in health, education, and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
it is often argued that the higher authority of a wealthy nation should aid in improving the health, education and trade of the underprivileged. This essay will agree with this statement because such support can elevate the level of literacy and improve the health of the citizens.
5.5
band
In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The issue of child labor remains a topic of heated debate globally. While some argue that it is inherently exploitative and harmful, others believe that it provides children with practical skills and valuable experience for their future. In this essay, I will discuss both perspectives and present my own opinion on the matter.
6.5
band
Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Throughout history and especially in recent centuries, gender differences have been very vital. One controversial issue, these days, is whether there should be a difference between the two genders getting a job in society. Not only do some proponents advocate this issue, but also the opponents take a reverse side.
6
band
Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and giver your own opinion.
While some people did not change their job in their entire life, certain people suggest that working for different organisations is more beneficial. Personally, I prefer the second statement because different job experiences acquire a more comprehensive perspective.

The shown Line graph below illustrates the condition of participation by club members to different courses.

You are visiting a town where you once worked. Write to a friend you worked with there. Include the following in your letter: •Tell your friend about your life now. •Give him/her details of your visit. •Arrange how you can meet.

Improvements in health, education, and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as valuable work experience. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and giver your own opinion.