The shown Line graph below illustrates the condition of participation by club members to different courses.

The line graph provides information about the conditions of participation by club members in three courses : swimming, team sports, and

gym

Use synonyms

activities.

Overall

Linking Words

, team sports and

gym

Use synonyms

activities showed short growth,

by comparison

Linking Words

, swimming activities showed a significant decline. In 1995 swimming was very popular and held the top spot but in the next 10

years

Use synonyms

, it showed a very sharp fall from 50% to approximately 15%.

However

Linking Words

, the next five

years

Use synonyms

it showed

slight

Add an article

a slight

the slight

show examples

rise of about 2 per cent between 2010 and 2015.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, in 1995

gym

Use synonyms

sections was less interesting than other and held the

last

Linking Words

spot with a tiny minority (5%). To the surprise,

gym

Use synonyms

sections were able to show a dramatic rise from 5 per cent to about 28%. But after five

years

Use synonyms

, it lost a little bit of progress about 2-3 per cent. From 1995 to 2000, team sports were without any significant changes and showed approximately one of three (33%).

However

Linking Words

, in the next ten

Use synonyms

years

Add a comma

years,

show examples

it illustrates

modest

Correct article usage

a modest

show examples

peak at 33% to 40%. Unfortunately, the

years

Use synonyms

between 2010 and 2015 were lamentable since they lost progress and

come

Wrong verb form

came

show examples

back to their original value.

aikumarbekarys

Oct 18, 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words gym, years with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 6 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.

▼

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

192 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

illustrates
condition
participation
club members
courses
line graph
levels
fluctuated
overall
number of participants
observed
dance course
initial
increase
end of the period
lowest
art course
declining
gradually
music course
witnessed
relatively stable
hovering
conclusion
demonstrates

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The shown Line graph below illustrates the condition of participation by club members to different courses.

Some people think that we learn best through in person interaction with the teacher in a classroom. Others believe that learning is more effective. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Young adults are now choosing to wait until later in life, often until they are in their 30s, to settle down and get married. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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Some school leavers choose to travel or work for a year before going university. What might be the reasons for this? What are the disadvantages of this practice?

Some people believe that entering the workplace after school is far more beneficial than studying at university. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?