IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.

the graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018.
#shops #country
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The graph demonstrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of shops that closed and opened in the same country between the period of 2011 to 1018.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of closures and openings in the graph
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 a decrease. Cases of closures started with more than 6000, at the start of the period, and ended with a decrease by 2 times and
reaced
Correct your spelling
reached
 3000
at the end
Linking Words
.
Whereas
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the occurence
show examples
occurence
Correct your spelling
occurrence
 of openings started with 8500 and shows a
falled
Correct your spelling
drop
 to
slighly
Correct your spelling
slightly
 more than 5000, in 2018. In terms of
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
shop
Fix the agreement mistake
shops
show examples
 closing, there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a
slowly
Change the word
slow
show examples
 fall from 2011 to 2012 and a growth
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
reaching the highest point in 2013. After it fluctuated and decreased
shaply
Correct your spelling
sharply
shapely
 and reached
value
Add an article
a value
the value
show examples
 of roughly 800 in 2015,
then
Linking Words
 it almost regained and reached more than 5000 in 2016. Regarding the
number
Use synonyms
 of opening instances, the vertex point was at the start of the period of observation.
However
Linking Words
, in 2012 it
falled
Correct your spelling
fell
show examples
 dramatically to the point of 4000.
Them
Correct your spelling
The
show examples
 graph shows a
gradually
Change the word
gradual
show examples
 increase with
following
Change the article
the following
show examples
 decrease.
In addition
Linking Words
, between 2015 and 2017 there is no
sighnificant
Correct your spelling
significant
 change and a
further
Linking Words
 fall.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • decline
  • surge
  • stabilize
  • correlation
  • economic conditions
  • consumer behavior
  • technological advancements
  • urban development
  • employment
  • retail sector
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