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The growing number of overweight people is putting in a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved

#people #strain #health #care #system #effort
It is undoubtedly true that the population of overweight has increasingly risen in the
last
 few decades.
As a result
, huge a burden is put on the health system. Many people believe that if there is more sports education in the
school
 program, the number of overweight humans will be decreased. Personally, I reckon that
this
 view has strong sides. In the first place, to tackle obesity including physical lessons in the
school
 curriculum is one of the beneficial ways. The main reason for
that is
 from
young
Correct article usage
a young
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ages
Change the noun form
age
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 children will be adopting a healthy lifestyle by engaging in sport.
For instance
, through engaging teenagers in physical education they will be taught to avoid harmful activities,
such
 as smoking, and eating more junk meals, which lead to obesity.
On the other hand
, daily training at
school
 has numerous benefits as not cost-effective
moreover
, preventing the most hazardous diseases. Nowadays, enrolling on the gym is not cheap, sometimes these kinds of gym classes are absent in many rural areas.
For instance
, at
school
 youths will teach specialists because
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 there would not be injuries and there is no need to pay for
this
.
Furthermore
, it improves the blood circulation process and children might briskly attend lessons per day.
To conclude
, I completely agree that adding sports education to lessons is a profitable way to deal with the population of overweight.
Submitted by gulnurayau on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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