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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the changes in the populationes of six different areas of the world bwtween 1960 and 2010.

The line graph shows the changes in the populationes of six different areas of the world bwtween 1960 and 2010.
#line #changes #populationes #six #areas #world #bwtween
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The chart illustrates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 changes in six
areas
Use synonyms
 of the globe between 1960 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, the figure for
people
Use synonyms
 raised between 1960 and 2010, but only two
areas
Use synonyms
 were stable.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, south
Asia
Use synonyms
 was raised dramatically compared to other
areas
Use synonyms
. In1960, the
number
Use synonyms
 of populations in Europe & Central and South
Asia
Use synonyms
 was similar around 750 million
people
Use synonyms
 but after next years, South
Asia
Use synonyms
 had a significant increase so the
people
Use synonyms
 who lived in
this
Linking Words
 area was more than in Europe & Central
Asia
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, by 2000, the populations in the Middle East and North Africa had a gradual rise
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 higher than in North America became the
last
Linking Words
 population area.
In addition
Linking Words
, from 1960 to 2010,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
East
Asia
Use synonyms
 & Pacific has always highest populations compared to these six
areas
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
East
Asia
Use synonyms
 & Pacific
was
Verb problem
has
show examples
 a
gramatic
Correct your spelling
dramatic
 increase between 1960 and 2010
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 highest population area.
Submitted by chien10955 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people, areas, asia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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