IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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The potential scientific effects lie at the heart of societal concerns. The most significant purpose of them should be to make the citizens'
lives
Use synonyms
 better. I completely agree with
this
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argue
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argument
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, and I will explain my reasons in
this
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 essay. Using science
for improving
Change preposition
to improve
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
's
lives
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 should be the highest priority for every nation.
For example
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, in the health care system,
this
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 has had
the
Correct article usage
apply
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enormous advantages, like inventing the vaccinations and the medication for cancers.
Consequently
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, the average years of living has been increasing.
This
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number
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 has risen to 85 years old in the UK since 2015, which is twice as high as
this
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number
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 between 1990
to
Correct word choice
and
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 2005. The other thing that could
makes
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make
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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life easier is a great public transport system. The
number
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 of residents using buses or trains is soaring. Admittedly, by using science to invent an efficient system, which can address
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 demands,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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societies would have happier residents.
Thus
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, if we use our knowledge in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 right way , that would result in a satisfied community.
On the other hand
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, new technologies could have
dentrimental
Correct your spelling
detrimental
 effects on
people
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's
lives
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.
For instance
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,
atomic
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an atomic
the atomic
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 bomb was invented by the very genius scientists,
Correct pronoun usage
who believing
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believing
Wrong verb form
believed
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 that
this
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 would stop
the
Correct article usage
apply
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wars.
However
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,
this
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 outstanding invention not only has not helped
the
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apply
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people
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 to have a peaceful life, but
also
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 has killed a huge
number
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 of innocent folks, like children, women , and elderly ones. A report was released after
atomic
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the atomic
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 attacks in
the
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apply
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Japan in 2002, mentioning that around one million
people
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 had
killed
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been killed
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 after that attack. So, if science is used in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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baleful ways, the consequences will be irreversible.
To sum up
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, whether new inventions
is
Change the verb form
are
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 going to
use
Wrong verb form
be used
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 for improving or destroying
lives
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 is an important issue for every individual. I strongly agree that these inventions must dedicate to
build
Wrong verb form
building
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 a great
live
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life
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 for everyone.

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your position.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to improve the coherence and flow of your essay.
task achievement
Include more specific and relevant examples to support your ideas.
lexical resource
Be cautious with the use of words like 'outstanding.' It may carry a positive connotation which is not appropriate when discussing the detrimental effects of an invention.
grammatical range accuracy
Use punctuation marks correctly to improve the overall grammatical range and accuracy of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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