IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

With rising concerns about environmental degredation, some argue that the government should hold individuals accountable for their environmental impact. Do you agree or disagree?

#concerns #degredation #argue #government #individuals #impact
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There is a view that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should have individuals
charge
Change preposition
in charge
show examples
 of their impact concerning to environmental deterioration. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion because
people
Use synonyms
 who
damaged
Wrong verb form
damage
show examples
 the
environment
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 poor regulations should encounter
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the consequences and if there are rules or restrictions
people
Use synonyms
 should think twice before doing things that harm their surroundings.
People
Use synonyms
 all over the world, now, are harming the
environment
Use synonyms
 more than ever before. Recent studies show that 65
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 of environmental depletion occurred in the
last
Linking Words
 three decades owing to the poor domestic policies that prioritize short-term economic gains. They have hurt the
environment
Use synonyms
 so dramatically that it causes huge problems
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the whole world.
This
Linking Words
 could
also
Linking Words
 be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 great example of individuals damaging the
environment
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should keep
people
Use synonyms
 human beings have to be responsible for their environmental problems and have to deal with
on
Correct pronoun usage
them on
show examples
 their own. Governments have imposed several laws and rules for the reason that
people
Use synonyms
 are not acting carefully and contributing
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 portion to environmental problems. International standards are
also
Linking Words
 set to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
control over
people
Use synonyms
 who constantly damage the
environment
Use synonyms
. And
people
Use synonyms
 are advised to think carefully about
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 actions before doing something that
harm
Change the verb form
harms
show examples
 the
environment
Use synonyms
 because they could be fined heavily for their actions.
For example
Linking Words
, in December 2014 a couple held a marry-me event
then
Linking Words
 were charged over 8 billion dollars
causing
Change preposition
for causing
show examples
 a huge forest wildfire for environmental disaster in the USA. In conclusion, I argue that governmental organizations should obligate
people
Use synonyms
 to handle what they have
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 to the surroundings and act responsibly
due to
Linking Words
legislations
Fix the agreement mistake
legislation
show examples
 made by a governing entity.
Submitted by i.nuraliyev on

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