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Band 5

Some people argue that team sports are better for children's development than individual sports. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #team #sports #children #development
Some people believe that
sports
 that include teamwork are more efficient for the
development
 of
children
 rather than individual
sports
. Though there are several notable advantages of individual
sports
, I argue that
team
sports
 can be much better
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
development
 of
children
, implying I partly agree with
this
 notion.   On the one hand,
team
sports
 provide many important benefits.
Firstly
,
team
sports
 form self-esteem and confidence
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 these play
driver
Correct article usage
a driver
show examples
 role in
children
’s mental growth. To be specific,
children
 can play
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 part
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
overall
 success and feel that they are able to contribute to the
team
’s win and
this
, in turn, builds self-confidence in
children
.
Secondly
,
team
sports
 help
children
 improve their social skills. With the help of
team
sports
, they interact more with their teammates, which is considered, by people, as one of the key
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
 of
team
sports
 among
children
.  
On the other hand
, there are lots of pros of individual
sports
 on
children
’s growth. The main plus is the increased focus as long as mental strength. Chess players
are blame
Change the verb form
are blaming
are blamed
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
moves as the key moments come, they have to concentrate more deeply, which improves the mental toughness
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 players.
This
 serves as a prime example of the positive impact individual sport
posses
Correct your spelling
possess
show examples
 on the
development
 of
children
 that mainly lacks in
team
sports
due to
 poor teammates. Another plus is the greater autonomy that
children
 can hold their own pace,
be
Correct word choice
and be
show examples
control
Change preposition
in control
show examples
 of themselves
while
 performing as it  makes
children
 more self-dependent.
To conclude
,
although
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 can benefit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
 in terms of
development
 as they enhance their mental strength and
overall
 focus. I argue that
team
sports
, in turn, are highly recommended for
children
 thanks to their pros, including improved confidence and more advanced social skills.
Submitted by i.nuraliyev on

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Linking words for giving examples:

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  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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