In most countries, prison is an effective solution for the problem of crime. Some people think a more effective solution is to provide a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Our society's
education
level is better than many years ago, but the crime
rate has remained unchanged. As a result
, it is an essential method for people
to solve the crime
problem
by the prison
and a better education
. We can use
better education
to solve the crime
problem
, although
this
idea may be viable.
For one thing, people
already have a better education
level. Meanwhile, there are more high-technology crimes. Many people
are illegal from the internet. For example
, some people
make faulty information, so other people
cheat. Some hackers use
their computer technology to steal customers' data and sell it to get money. Technology develops very quickly. If some people
use
it to create sound and then
use
the sound to cheat, we judge them hard, or they lose money.
On the other hand
, the prison
must be set. There are many different crimes in any country's prison
. For one thing, some provisions kill other people
. If we teach the criminals and let them leave prison
, it is not fair. Another reason for this
opinion is that prison
can hit some people
who are ready to commit crimes when they have evil thoughts. They must know they will lose their freedom if they hurt other personal benefits.
In conclusion, better education
can only partially solve the crime
problem
. Even so, I have to admit that the prison
has the function of treating the crime
problem
.Submitted by erichardxin on
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task response
The essay addresses the given prompt but lacks clarity and depth in presenting a clear opinion. The ideas are often vague and lack development. The examples provided are not fully relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, and the coherence and cohesion could be improved by organizing the ideas more clearly. The introduction and conclusion are rather weak and need to be developed further. Additionally, the essay lacks strong connections between the ideas presented.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, and there is a lack of precision in using appropriate lexical resources. The examples and explanations provided could be more varied and specific to the topic.
grammatical range
The essay shows a basic control of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors that hinder overall clarity. The sentence structures are often awkward, and there is a lack of variety in terms of grammatical range.
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