IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In most countries, prison is an effective solution for the problem of crime. Some people think a more effective solution is to provide a better education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Our society's
education
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 level is better than many years ago, but the
crime
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 rate has remained unchanged.
As a result
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, it is an essential method for
people
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 to solve the
crime
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problem
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 by the
prison
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 and a better
education
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. We can
use
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 better
education
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 to solve the
crime
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problem
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,
although
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this
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 idea may be viable. For one thing,
people
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 already have a better
education
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 level. Meanwhile, there are more high-technology crimes. Many
people
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 are illegal from the internet.
For example
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, some
people
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 make faulty information, so other
people
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 cheat. Some hackers
use
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 their computer technology to steal customers' data and sell it to get money. Technology develops very quickly. If some
people
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use
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 it to create sound and
then
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use
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 the sound to cheat, we judge them hard, or they lose money.
On the other hand
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, the
prison
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 must be set. There are many different crimes in any country's
prison
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. For one thing, some provisions kill other
people
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. If we teach the criminals and let them leave
prison
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, it is not fair. Another reason for
this
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 opinion is that
prison
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 can hit some
people
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 who are ready to commit crimes when they have evil thoughts. They must know they will lose their freedom if they hurt other personal benefits. In conclusion, better
education
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 can only partially solve the
crime
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problem
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. Even so, I have to admit that the
prison
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 has the function of treating the
crime
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problem
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.

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task response
The essay addresses the given prompt but lacks clarity and depth in presenting a clear opinion. The ideas are often vague and lack development. The examples provided are not fully relevant to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is weak, and the coherence and cohesion could be improved by organizing the ideas more clearly. The introduction and conclusion are rather weak and need to be developed further. Additionally, the essay lacks strong connections between the ideas presented.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a limited range of vocabulary, and there is a lack of precision in using appropriate lexical resources. The examples and explanations provided could be more varied and specific to the topic.
grammatical range
The essay shows a basic control of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors that hinder overall clarity. The sentence structures are often awkward, and there is a lack of variety in terms of grammatical range.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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