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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the total number of Olympic medals won by twelve different countries.

The bar chart below shows the total number of Olympic medals won by twelve different countries.
#bar #olympic #medals #twelve #countries
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The bar graph illustrates the number of Olympic
medals
Use synonyms
 attained by twelve distinct countries (
USA
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, Soviet Union, UK, France, Germany, Italy, Sweden, Australia, Hungary, East Germany,
Japan
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,
Use synonyms
China
Correct word choice
and China
show examples
).
Overall
Linking Words
, the
USA
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 won the most
medals
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 and
China
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accomplishes
Wrong verb form
accomplished
show examples
 the least number of
medals
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. The two countries that achieved the highest quantity of
medals
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are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 the
USA
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 and Soviet Union. The
USA
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 won nearly 1,000
gold
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medals
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, approximately 700 to 800
silver
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medals
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 and around 600
bronze
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medals
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.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, the
USA
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 gained a total of 2,300
medals
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. The
second to highest
Add a hyphen
second-to-highest
show examples
 country in terms of
medals
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 is the Soviet Union. They won a sum of 1,000
medals
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 consisting of 400
medals
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 that are
gold
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, 300
silver
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 and
bronze
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medals
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.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the two countries that achieved the least amount of
medals
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 are
China
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 and
Japan
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.
Japan
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 attained around
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
100
gold
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,
silver
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 and
bronze
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medals
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.
China
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 gained a slightly higher amount of
medals
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 than
Japan
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, having approximately 150
gold
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medals
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, 100
silver
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medals
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 and 70
bronze
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medals
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words medals, usa, japan, china, gold, silver, bronze with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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