IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many students find it is harder to study at university or college compared to when they were in grade school. Why is this? What are some possible solutions for this problem?

#students #study #university #college #grade #school
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The transition from grade school to tertiary
education
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 often proves challenging for many
students
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, with university or college studies demanding a different set of
skills
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 and approaches. One primary reason is the emphasis on rote memorization in earlier years, which doesn't foster the critical thinking
skills
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 essential for higher
education
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.
This
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 essay will delve into the reasons behind
this
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 academic hurdle and propose potential solutions. During their formative educational years,
students
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 are frequently subjected to an educational paradigm that rewards rote learning, primarily
due to
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 the emphasis on achieving top grades.
This
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 system inadvertently discourages the exploration of subjects in depth, stifling curiosity and the development of analytical
skills
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. As they step into higher
education
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, where self-directed learning and analytical prowess are paramount, these
students
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 often grapple with adapting to the newfound autonomy and depth of discourse. To bridge
this
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 academic chasm, an overhaul of the foundational educational system is imperative. Foremost, the curriculum should be revamped to focus on fostering analytical and problem-solving
skills
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 over mere memorization.
For instance
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, introducing project-based learning in schools can provide
students
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 with practical experience in researching and critically evaluating information.
Additionally
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, moving away from a strict grading system to a more holistic evaluation can ensure
students
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 focus on genuine understanding rather than rote memorization. In summation, the crux of the challenge faced by
students
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 transitioning to higher
education
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 lies in the misalignment of skill sets fostered during their earlier years. By restructuring the grade school curriculum to nurture analytical and independent learning
skills
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, we can better prepare
students
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 for the
rigors
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rigours
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 of university and college studies
Submitted by dylankong200601 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay possesses a coherent structure, with clear introduction and conclusion. Points are logically structured and transition within and between paragraphs is smooth. However, it is suggested to also include cohesive linkers that aid the reader in understanding the flow of argument.
Task Response
The response thoroughly addresses the task, presenting an in-depth discussion on the reasons why there are challenges in transitioning from grade school to tertiary education, as well as proposing solutions. However, it's recommended to demonstrate a wider range of relevant examples to further support primary points.
Lexical Resource
There is a wide range of vocabulary with minor repetition. There are a handful of sophisticated phrases but it is advised to utilize a few more less common lexical items related to the topic of education.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with a high degree of accuracy. Try exploring extended range of grammatical structures to exhibit language flexibility, such as using a wider range of clause structures.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Self-directed learning
  • Time management
  • Critical thinking
  • Independent study
  • Complexity
  • Academic support
  • Study skills
  • Workshops
  • Orientation programs
  • Financial aid
  • Work-life balance
  • Tutoring services
  • Self-discipline
  • Depth of understanding
  • Higher education
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